EI: Emotional intelligence benefits

1. Imagine you are waiting in a queue at the bank. You can't change the time that the queue takes to move, but your emotional reaction to the queue may differ according to your levels of emotional intelligence, and this may affect your behaviour. For example, a person's stress levels may differ. People with lower levels of emotional self-management (Emotional Intelligence level 5), might get tense and annoyed, stomp up and down, sigh, or start complaining. When they finally get to the counter they may be rude and unkind to the bank teller, despite the queue not being his or her fault. In contrast, people with higher levels of emotional intelligence may manage their emotions and remain calm and unperturbed so they don't get stressed. When they reach the counter they may be pleasant and even praise the bank teller for coping so well on a difficult day, thus also helping to manage the teller's emotions, (Emotional Intelligence level 6). The benefits of having higher levels of emotional intelligence in this situation can mean you have better relationships, less stress and a happier life than someone with low levels.

2. Imagine that someone has said something potentially hurtful at work, home or school. When someone says something to you, you can't change what was said. You do have the option to manage your reaction to the person though. How you react will be influenced by your level of emotional intelligence. For example, people may respond differently to the same comment: People with lower levels of emotional intelligence may not be aware of how they feel (Emotional Intelligence level 1) and take a comment personally and stew on it. They then stop concentrating on the task they were doing and end up becoming upset and angry and blaming others. That night on going to bed, the comment is still going round and round in their heads and they end up not sleeping well. Other people with more emotional intelligence may shrug it off, know the other person is having a bad day, and stop thinking about it. They continue their work undisturbed. The benefits of having higher levels of emotional intelligence in this situation can mean you are more productive, have higher levels of concentration, are less likely to be manipulated or affected by the moods of others, and sleep better. If you are emotionally intelligent you are less likely to take things personally than someone with lower levels of emotional intelligence.

3. Imagine you wake up one morning nervous about a job interview. Your reaction to feeling nervous may impact on your success at the interview. For example: If you have high levels of emotional intelligence you are more likely to be able to change from feeling nervous to feeling settled. Or you may feel comfortable with feeling nervous and perceive it as an advantage in the interview. You appreciate that it will help you to be alert and pick up on important keywords in the interview questions. (I once worked with a television news reader who said if he wasn't nervous before reading the news he was more likely to make a mistake.) In contrast, if you have lower levels of emotional intelligence you may panic about feeling nervous, worry that you are nervous and over time become even more nervous. You may also perceive being nervous as a bad thing and feel out of control and become flustered. By the time you attend the interview you are so focused on your nerves that you go blank, miss the intent of the questions, and fail to give reasonable answers. In other words your nervousness hijacks your interview. (Emotional Intelligence level 7.) The benefits of having higher levels of emotional intelligence in this situation can mean you get a new job!

4. Imagine your team feel ignored by senior management and are less productive. You can't change what management has done but your ability to increase employee engagement will be influenced by your levels of emotional intelligence. For example, you may help the situation or make it worse. People with with lower levels of emotional awareness of others, (Emotional Intelligence level 3) might not notice the feelings of their team and fail to take positive steps to remediate situations impacting on productivity. Given that, in this situation, the employees are already feeling ignored, this may make the situation worse so that productivity drops even more. Higher levels of staff turnover may then occur. People with lower levels of emotional intelligence may notice that the team is upset about something but may get irritated by this, or feel uncomfortable about facing it. They may also ignore it so the problem festers and builds until it becomes something more serious. Or alternatively, that person may know the team is upset and become critical of them for being so. The team may be lectured on their need to take more responsibility, on the importance of meeting production targets or KPIs, or be told, "That's just how management is, you work here so accept it." This will inflame the already fragile situation. In contrast, people with higher levels of emotional intelligence may notice the team is feeling ignored and decide to talk to them about it. They listen to what is said and acknowledge how and why they feel as they do, without criticism or ridicule. The team feels heard and works harder as a consequence. In addition, you may then decide to discuss the situation with senior management. You want to work out how to explain the situation and take into account the discussion you have had with the team and their feelings. (Emotional Intelligence level 4). You decide to invite the senior management to a morning tea to talk to the team personally. The team feel understood and validated and work harder. The benefits of having higher levels of emotional intelligence in this situation can mean more employee engagement, higher productivity and fewer conflicts.

5. Imagine you want to have better relations at work, home or with friends. How well you express your feelings towards people may influence how satisfying your personal and work relationships are. For example: People with lower levels of emotional expression (Emotional Intelligence level 2), might not tell others how they feel about them. They may fail to express love, affection or pride in others. This may mean that other people do not realise they are appreciated, wanted, or loved. This can impair relationships and leave people feeling taken for granted or undervalued. In contrast, people with higher levels of emotional intelligence may be able to express affection, pride and love to others easily. The people they relate to may feel appreciated, loved and valued. Trust may build as a consequence and relationships deepen and endure. The benefits of having higher levels of emotional intelligence can mean your relationships are happier or more productive, they may last longer, and there may be more trust and fewer conflicts. This applies at work and at home. Better relationships can mean less staff turnover at work, for instance. At home it can mean longer lasting marriages.

As Paul Ekman says, "Emotions determine the quality of our lives".

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Updated 27-May-2011