40-65 year olds ... finding happiness ... and living lives of passion and purpose
How are you feeling about turning 40, or approaching 50 or even reaching 60? Probably like most of us you do not like getting older. We prefer to slow the progress of time, to stay young, and to avoid describing ourselves as middle aged or in midlife!
But being 40 and over is OKAY! It is much better than the stereotypes of being "over the hill" would have you believe.
In fact being over 40 and over 50 can be FANTASTIC.
Most of us simply want to be happy. That's probably what you want too isn't it, the way to happiness?
The great news is that even if you are not very happy now you can find happiness over 40, 50 and 60.
Whether you are suffering from mid life depression or have the empty nest syndrome or a feeling of "what's next?" ... or simply want to get the best out of your life and have a wonderful time, happiness is there for the taking.
A group of us aged 40 to 61 have proved it and we want you to join us in being happy no matter what ...
Does your age matter?
NO! It is what you do with your life that matters.
Celebrate your age! Make your birthdays brilliant. Have a great birthday party each year.
Step into life over 40, 50 and 60 and accept it with zest. I don't care how old you are - be proud of it. If you are 42, 57 or 69 stand tall.
Not everyone is lucky enough to make it to 40 or 50, so celebrate every year you are blessed with. And do it with pride. And do it with style. Make sure you have a birthday party to be proud of.
When I had my 40th birthday I celebrated for 40 days with 40 friends.
For my 50th birthday I celebrated for 50 days with 50 friends and did lots of things to do with 50, such as planting 50 trees.
I look forward to my 60th.
Would you like some birthday ideas? We have some free tips for you.
Click on any of the following:-
- A high self-esteem and sexy at 60.
- Building self-esteem and confidence through NLP in women over 40.
- Self-esteem beckons with pride at 40, 50 or 60.
- Self-esteem celebrated by birthday ball for the over 40s.
What midlife questions are you asking yourself?
Have you ever asked yourself: "What is the meaning of MY life?" or "What have I done with my life?" or "What am I going to do next?" Maybe you've been asking yourself "Is this all there is?"
Many of us ask questions like this. Especially if things have not turned out quite as we had planned.
It can be confusing being over forty, fifty and sixty, even for self-aware baby boomers. Especially if we thought we had all the answers in our twenties and thirties.
Rest assured you are definitely not alone. There are thousands of us in mid life who have struggled with such questions.
Many of us have also experienced unexpected crises or changes, myself included. Some of us are made redundant, or our partners leave us, or we can't sleep.
Or it may be even more fundamental than that, and we find our bodies are doing things that we wish they wouldn't. Whether it is osteoporosis, high blood pressure, the menopause, arthritis, flab or weight gain, ... or even hairs in new and unwelcome places, changes can take place that we don't like.
Maybe it is not any of this but just when you were looking forward to having some free time your children come back home, or your elderly parents need caring for, or you get sick.
Why does this matter now? After all, we have had issues to deal with before, but somehow now in our middle years it doesn't feel the same.
The real difference is that we aren't as young as we used to be AND time can seem to be running out. And that can bother us.
Take heart, there are ways to deal with the issues AND find an inner well of contentment no matter what your circumstances.
If you are searching for happiness you can find it. You just need to know where to look.
I still want to reassure you ... men and women in midlife can be happy over 40, 50 and 60.
Even if you have problems or are in the middle of a mid life crisis the keys to happiness are still available to you. This page and our free tips will help you find out how.
How you can be happy when you are 40, 50 or 60?
Your first tip on finding happiness over 40: Do what is important.
Most of us spend all our lives being busy and doing what has to be done without ever asking ourselves, "Are we doing what is important?"
When we don't do what is important our energy evaporates, we become dull and happiness eludes us.
Are you doing what is important or are you busy just being busy? Forget the trivial. Now is the time.
One way to find out what is important is to ask yourself this question, "If I only had 18 months to live what would I do with my time?"
Whatever your answer is, the next step to finding happiness is to work out a way to make it possible.
I ask myself this question whenever I have finished one major step in my life and it is time again to re-evaluate. You could do the same.
For example, once, when I was asked this question, the answer I had was that I would go and see all the aunts, uncles and cousins I had been close to in my childhood but I had barely seen since. I was a bit taken aback at the idea as the relatives all lived on the other side of the world! I also managed to make it hard for myself as I decided I'd take my mum with me and she was well over eighty. She also wasn't very enthusiastic at first and she took a lot of persuading.
However, I decided that it was important at that time and that I would do it. So I saved for it, organised it and did it.
Afterwards I was on an absolute high. It was the best thing I have ever done for my mum and for all of my family. I had brought them together.
Shortly afterwards my favourite aunt died only to be followed by one of my two remaining uncles, and now more recently my favourite cousin has died. How grateful I am I did what was important when it mattered and I didn't put it off.
How can you be happy over 40? By doing what is important. Are you doing what's important?
I don't mean the world cruise or just the major goal, but even each day do you spend your days doing what is important? Your energy will flow more when you do. And energy adds sparkle. And sparkle fuels happiness.
Do you feel that time is running out?
Let me tell you first, what I mean about feeling that time is running out.
At the time of writing this, I am nearly 53 years old. In the last two years or so, my husband and I have bought a steep block of land that we are rehabilitating to make into a sanctuary for local wildlife. A real sea change or tree change!
It came with a dud house with "lots of potential" (as the real estate industry would describe it) which we are renovating from top to bottom.
And I keep thinking, "Heck, we'd better hurry up or we'll never see this tree grow", or "What happens if one of us has a heart attack before we finish", "Or, will we still be able to earn enough money as we get older to fund it all?"
If I had been 30 when we bought the block I'd never have thought like this. But we've had friends die in their late thirties and forties, and now again in their fifties, and time running out is now a real factor in our lives.
We may be asking the same questions as we did in our 20s, but the answers now have a different colour to them. We now know that we are not invincible. We now feel more vulnerable.
Do you feel time is running out and you must make a go of it now, before it's too late? Or have you already given up and think you are too old, or too tired. If so, now is the time to get some more spring in your step and dive into a future with happiness.
Happiness? Yes! Happiness is there for the taking, if you look for it in the right places.
A second tip for happiness: Find older mentors
We all need people who can guide us, support us and inspire us.
For example, we might benefit from older mentors, people who are older than we are and doing what we'd like to do. Then we can look up to them and know what is possible and be inspired to reach our own potential too.
Or we might find people who are happy and content, who seem to have found what we are searching for. Then we can also find happiness.
Or people who have had similar problems to us but have overcome them. Then we can learn from them and overcome our own problems.
These people exist. They may be in the media or be your next-door neighbour or be a colleague at work. It doesn't matter.
Yesterday I met a lady who had just driven 3000 kilometres on her own, through very isolated parts of the country to get to a conference I was speaking at. I admired her courage. She inspired me to do greater things. Why? Because she was 86 years old. Even though her own her sister had not wanted her to do the trip - she did it. And did it easily.
It is mentors like these that can help you turn your life around and help you in your pursuit of happiness.
There are so many dreadful stereotypes about 40 and 50 year olds being over the hill. They are absolute nonsense! This 86 year old lady has proved it for all of us.
What's so good about being over forty or turning fifty?
Some of the great things about being in our forties and fifties are that:
We can let go of some of the pressures of our twenties and thirties.
We can find a greater acceptance of ourselves.
We can stop worrying so much about what other people think.
For some of us our responsibilities lessen as our children grow up and (hopefully!) leave home.
We can find a new sense of freedom.
For some of us the mortgage and financial pressures ease and we have more spare "cash" to spend.
We can come off the factory production line that society puts us on and do what is important to us.
Many people develop greater self-confidence.
We have greater life experience and wisdom to draw on in making decisions.
We have more choices.
And best of all we can find peace and contentment, if we just know where to look for it.
After all would you really want to be a teenager again and lose everything you now know?
A third tip on finding happiness: Keep your energy flowing
Many people find themselves lacking in energy as they get older.
If you lack energy it can make it harder for you to devote yourself to the tasks that midlife brings with it, and it is easier to become depressed or anxious or to lose interest in new things in life.
It doesn't have to be like this. Energy and enthusiasm are still available over 40, 50 or 60. You need to make sure you are doing the right things though.
How do you keep your energy up? There are many ways ranging from having medical checks on your iron and thyroid levels, through to exercising, saying no to excessive demands, eating foods which bring you long-lasting energy rather than short term fixes, meditating, ditching past hurts and negativity .. and many, many more ways.
If you want to increase your physical and mental energy levels and to beat tiredness and fatigue you'll find lots of the answers you are looking for on the practical CD set now as MP3s:
Click here to order "Energy for Living" now. Energy for Living: How to have abundant energy and feel fully alive].
These 2 unique CDs provide an energy make-over for busy women (and men) who feel tired, run-down or worn-out. They are full of lots more ways for you to bump up your energy levels AND ... you will discover all the inside secrets on where Rachel Green, a "pint-sized dynamo" in her 50s gets her energy from. Yes that's me!
A journalist, Amy Richardson, recently described me like that in an article she wrote about the CDs. I am forever getting asked in my workshops, "Where do you get your energy from?" and now I tell you!
If you are ready to have more energy every day then:
Click here to order "Energy for Living" now.
A fourth tip for your happiness: Focus on the good things
Focus on the good things that you have now that you didn't have at 20 or 30.
Happiness arrives over 40 when we focus on the good things that we have rather than spending our time noticing what we no longer have, or hankering after the past, or moaning about our aches and pains.
Easier said than done when you are feeling low or unmotivated.
Here is a way to help you focus on the good things. Get out a notebook and start writing down 10 things you know now that you didn't know when you were 20, (when you probably thought you knew everything.)
Then write thank you next to each one.
Add to this list each day, then read it all at the end of each week.
Keep adding to this list each day for the next three months. This will help you focus on the good things in your life.
Gratitude is a key to happiness.
A fifth tip for happiness: Don't dwell on your hair colour.
What is wrong with grey hair? Nothing!
Does your hair turning grey bother you? Do you want to colour or reverse grey hair?
I don't know if you have noticed, but when someone dyes their hair, it can make them look older. Not from behind - they can look younger. But when they turn around and face you - suddenly the brown hair seems to clash with their face colour. It doesn't match. Then the skin and wrinkles stand out more.
Grey hair on women and men can be very attractive. Having a youthful, well cut hair style can make all the difference to how good you look.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to give up colouring your grey hair, not to have to worry about your roots showing and to still feel young and attractive.
I have deliberately kept mine grey and never regretted it. It's such a relief!
The colour of our hair is not where happiness lies. How much hair you have on your head doesn't matter either. Don't believe all those fear-of-becoming-bald adverts. Bald is sexy!
I was interviewed about it by a journalist, Dani, on radio station 6EB recently. Have a listen.
Sixth tip for happiness: Keep your self-esteem and confidence no matter what happens.
It is easy as we reach our 40s, 50s and even 60s to receive knock-backs that lower our self-confidence and self-esteem. We may get divorced, be made redundant, lose a loved one, have physical pains and problems ... there are plenty of problems that we may need to deal with.
It is important that no matter what happens that we build our self-confidence back up, or that we manage to maintain it no matter our circumstances.
Our 2 CDs "Confidence for women in social situations and life in general" feature a number of women who are over 40 and have successfully dealt with issues that have arisen.
For example, Sue is in her late fifties and tells you how she built her confidence back up after a sad and difficult divorce left her confidence in tatters.
Shazadi, aged 54, tells of the trauma she faced after being in a serious road accident and being in the spinal unit for months. She goes through step-by-step how she built up her self-confidence to drive again and how she managed to keep her sense of humour throughout it all.
Monika, is a manager in her 40s, she describes how she manages her multi-racial relationship and to have the courage to gain feedback on how she presents herself to others.
Keep your confidence over 40. Face the challenges that arise and stay on top and in charge of your life.
Listen to the women on the recordings and discover that you can have confidence and a happy life whether you are over 40, 50 or 60.
Seventh tip for happiness: Get to know other people aged 40-65.
Knowing other people in your age group who are happy and doing well can be very important for you and your own happiness. We give you the chance, right here, to read about other people over 40 or 50.
Find out what they think the best thing is about being 40 plus, and the worst!
Discover their favourite hobbies, find out how they stay healthy, what inspires them, what their goals are for the next 10 years, and what they've achieved since being 40 and over.
These profiles have all been sent to us by other passionate baby boomers. Read what they say.
You can send in your profile too. Click here for a blank profile for you to use.
How can completing a profile help you?
It can help you to focus on important questions, and to reflect on your life and your midlife directions. AND if you have your profile appear on this website it could be read world-wide by thousands. Inspire others.
40 plus Newsletters: COMMUNICATE
Get the latest news and views on being 40 and over. A FREE e-mail magazine COMMUNICATE is available every fortnight and can be sent directly to your e-mail address. All you have to do is to send us your e-mail address and we do the rest for you.
Topics include specific aspects on being 40 and over, and also material for people of any age on communication, emotional intelligence, personality, networking, relationships, and more. Those, which are specifically on being 40 and over, are also available here.
Click on the link to read each of the following:
Click here to subscribe now!
40 plus Links
There are other web-sites devoted to people in the 40 plus age group. Here's a list of some of the best ones.
RG.Com Pty Ltd has included these links with the best intentions in mind. However, being linked does not imply that RG.Com Pty Ltd subscribes to the content included in these sites. It does not take
responsibility for the content or accuracy of any of the information
they contain, nor does RG.Com recommend or endorse any specific
organisation, product or service. Read with thoughtfulness and care!
General 40-plus sites including those on midlife crises
A Midlife Crisis. This site is far more than just on Midlife Crises - this site is full of articles, photographs and inspiring material about all aspects of being 40-65, including happiness and health at midlife. UK based but applicable to all.
2 Young 2 Retire. A site with a great attitude - ways to live fully after 45, with inspirational stories of people who've succeeded. The hosts founded the site because they had a "near-retirement" experience which convinced them that there was more to post-career life than withdrawing to a place in the sun!
Healthy Living and Balance in Midlife . If life begins at midlife & beyond what are you waiting for? Let a life coach show you how to break through limiting thoughts, beliefs and transform your life! Site of Joyce Dillon.
Her Mentor Center. Inspiring stories, newsletters and expert mentors to help women across the bumps and hurdles of midlife transition. USA based.
I Don't Feel 50! Masses of information to keep people, 50 and over, on the ball and living, living, living. A UK site with international links.
Midlife Metamorphosis. Explanation of midlife from a Jungian perspective with details of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) preferences. Sees midlife as a "dangerous opportunity" to become who you really are!
Midmac Midlife Research. An academic and research examination of Midlife across different cultures. Provides research updates, a bibliography, and plenty of information.
Our Best Years. Read the midlife agony column and learn how to deal with your or your partner's midlife crisis, or read Mike Bellah's funny, practical or insightful columns. USA based.
Power Surge. Amazing! Lots of chats with famous people about midlife women plus women's midlife health information, menopause information, chat rooms, newsletters, and much more. Superb graphics too.
Questia. Over 70,000 books and articles on a variety of subjects including books and articles relating to male midlife crisis.
Reflections on Aging. A light hearted look at aging - it reminds us we are not to blame for getting older.
Saga Magazine for the over 50s. A magazine explicitly geared to the over 50s which doesn't treat us as seniors interested in pensions, yeah! It includes some good articles on famous people who are over 50 and even the adverts portray healthy people over 50 doing things such as surfing. UK material.
Seniority.co.uk. The informative, fun and interactive online community created by and for people aged 50 (ish!).
Senior Women. Information, newsletters, forums for women 50 years and over. USA based.
The Aging Quiz. Scared of getting older? Many of your fears may be based on myths and stereotypes - check out the accuracy of your knowledge on this great quiz!
The Older Woman's Network. An Australian site - encouraging power for women over 50 - inspirational and informative with regular newsletters.
US BOOMERS.com. This provides information to baby boomers on money, family, health, fun, and people. USA based.
Woman's Age. For women over 50. Site of Jane Glenn Haas, USA based. Interesting stories.
William Bridges and Associates. Order books, read free articles, and complete self-assessments on coping with transition and change. I found William Bridges book: "Transitions: Making sense of life's changes" very useful when coping with my midlife changes.
Links to Men at Midlife
Men at Midlife. Strategies to beat the challenges of middle age for men. Things change for men at midlife - some things that used to be important don't seem to be any more, and others become more important. Testosterone also changes. This site will show you how to not only get through these changes, but make the second half of your life better than the first.
Men Web. Has an article on rites of passage for men at Midlife.
Gold Cross Medical Centres - Andro Screen Centre. Male menopause experts with a test to see if you are suffering from one and suggested treatments. Originally UK based, now also has centres in Australia and USA.
Male Menopause. For men over 40. Based on only one book on male menopause but inspires men to their second adulthood.
Men's Health. A comprehensive list with links on resources for men in midlife.
The Andropause Society UK. Aims to promote the exchange of research information and ideas about Androgen Deficiency in the Adult Male (ADAM) between health professionals, as well as to encourage education in the andropause, its consequences and its treatment.
Wellness MD: Andropause - the Male Menopause. Article by a Dr. K on the andropause, testosterone and testosterone replacement therapy.
Links to Baby Boomers and the 60s Culture Sites
1949-1972 The Menzies Era. Comprehensive and factual - packed with information on Australian "culture" between 1949-1972, includes the weekly top chart hits in USA, UK and Australia, Menzies, Vietnam, cars, sport, books, television, radio ... refresh your memory ... remember those songs, those people, those events!
Baby Boomers. Chat to other baby boomers, read what the doctor says, find out about the music ...
Hippy Land. Everything you ever wanted to know about hippies or how to be a hippie if you missed out first time around, there is still time. An extensive site, a good trip down memory lane too.
Sixties Central. Pictures and details of the fads and fashions of the 1960's, the days of the mini skirt, the invention of the trouser suit for women, remember bell bottomed trousers? It's all here.
Links to Elderly Parents
Carers WA. This has been recently relaunched, with lots of information for people who are caring for a spouse, child or parent who is frail aged, chronically ill or who has a disability. Free kits can be ordered from the website, as well as much information on being a carer.
Council of Ageing: COTA. If you want access to resources for elderly parents this is an extensive site of relevant organisations, information and websites throughout Australia and it provides information to links worldwide.
Resources on Ageing. This is a site of the Council of the Ageing. A list of internet resources on ageing from around the world. Ideal for people over 40 who are looking after ageing parents or for anyone over the age of fifty-five years.
Senior Citizens Bureau. Aimed at helping the mature adult maintain an active lifestyle - Texas based.
Patrick Wilfred Doyle's Elder Abuse Page. Defines and discusses abuse and neglect of older adults with links to support organisations.
Preventing abuse of older people by family and friends. A useful Australian site detailing the rights of elderly people and preventing elder abuse. It also has links to associated sites in each state of Australia.
Elder Abuse. A Western Australian government website providing useful contact information with regard to support groups and agencies.
The Best Is Yet To Come. A CD of folk songs celebrating our older years. Easy listening by USA based musician Matt Watroba. It may make a great gift for elderly parents who need a lift!
Links related to the menopause.
Australasian Menopause Society. Lists menopause specialist clinics throughout Australia, New Zealand, Peru and Switzerland! It has a booklet on understanding menopause that you can download.
Dr Christiane Northrup. Site of Dr Christiane Northrup, author of "The Wisdom of the Menopause."
Melbourne Women's Midlife Health Project. Details of a major study into the health of midlife women - a cross-sectional study of 2000 randomly selected women aged 45 - 55 years and a longitudinal study of 492 pre-menopausal women through the midlife years and the menopausal transition.
Menopause: Myths and Medicine. ABC Quantum TV special and website all about the menopause - lots of information.
Menopause Online Resources. Extensive links to information on the menopause.
Menopause Web Resources. Lots of information with up-to-date medical research, articles, chat, links and more.
Minniepauz. Cartoons and a funny look at the menopause! Good for a laugh and to lighten the load.
Project Aware. An excellent, clear and informative site on the symptoms and management of menopause run by the Association of Women for the Advancement of Research and Education.
The M Club. For any female approaching, in, or still recovering from, the menopause. Peri menopausal, menopausal, or post menopausal, this is for you. This site could bring a smile to your face!
Links on Health for Men and Women 40 and Over.
Bones For Life with Ruthy Alon. A leading Feldenkrais practitioner has developed a significant programme for building up healthy bones and overcoming osteoporosis. She has now trained other Feldenkrais practitioners in her methods including many of us in Perth and Australia.
Health 50+. BBC website on interesting health aspects for over 50s. UK based.
Midlife Passages. Fascinating information on male and female menopause, endocrinology, how to live to 100, psychology, and lots of other well researched information, by three doctors.
National Osteoporosis Foundation (USA). One of the most straightforward and helpful osteoporosis sites. If you are 40 and over, now is the time to have your bone density checked - don't wait until you fracture.
Women's Health Interactive. An array of different articles on health issues including up-to-date news bulletins on items of health interest in 40 plus women.
There are also other links to other topics such as personality,
anxiety, meditation, sleeplessness and the Feldenkrais Method,
available on our
general links page...
Still wanting to know more about how to be happy over 40 or 50?
Buy "Energy for living".
Do you feel tired and worn out at times? If so, our recordings "Energy for Living" may be just what you need.
Buy "Confidence for women in social situations and everyday life".
Listen to the women on the recordings and discover that you can have confidence and a happy life whether you are over 40, 50 or 60.
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