CONFIDENCE 4 U

Where's your focus By Rachel Green

10-Jul-2002, Number 93

I'll be 50 next birthday and I want to make a significant contribution in my next decade. At this stage I'm in limbo land as I travel through the transitionary period from my 40's to my 50's. "Midlife And Happiness" was the culmination of my 40's, of the decade I'm now completing. But what will I do in my fifties? It's so easy just to busy myself with life and simply be busy. But busy doing what? Sometimes I wonder if being busy is just a cover up for a lack of focus, simply being busy seems to have become, in our society, an acceptable description of our lives, as if "busyness" in itself is valuable. But is it? Have you ever asked what purpose your busyness has? Could you be more focused?

---

What do I mean by focus?

I have just spent the long weekend in the Porongerups, a mountain range in the South West of Western Australia. While I was there I visited the "Banksia Farm" in Mt Barker. Banksias are a very attractive group of flowers found in Australia, of which there are 77 species. Some of them are very rare. Kevin and Kathy Collins who run the Banksia Farm have collected every single species and sub-species of Banksia and successfully grown them. If you visit their farm you can walk around their delightful property to view all the plants. Maybe it doesn't sound as hard as it is. But in comparison I think I have 3 Banksia species in my garden and I don't even know their names. Kevin and Kathy have collected theirs from the farthest locations in Australia, worked out how to grow them, learnt how to identify them and slogged away to produce the most amazing collection. It is the only place in the world where such a collection exists. This is focus! And was Kevin trained as a botanist? No, according to his father-in-law he was working for Telecom, something he'd done since the day he left school, and they made him redundant. So feeling lost and empty this is what he decided to do. He's in his 40's now and has just found a new species. He remains totally committed and focused. You can visit his farm if you're ever down there. Details are: Pearce Road, Mt Barker, phone +61 8 9851 1770.

---

What can focus produce?

While I was at the Banksia Farm, this focused enthusiast showed us the work of another focused person, a woman who had produced a remarkable collection of paintings. She had painted every known Banksia. He showed us the first volume of her book (priced around $5000 per volume) and the paintings, irrespective of whether you like Banksias or not, were staggeringly accurate and beautiful and huge! "So what", you may think, anyone could do that. Well, I certainly couldn't. In order to accomplish this, apparently she went to her day job, which was nothing to do with painting Banksias, and then every night would come home and paint. It took her 27 years to finish the task. Now that's focus.

---

What happens when we're not focused?

When we're not focused we can be very busy achieving very little of significance. We can get to the end or middle of our lives and wonder what we've achieved. We can have dreams that we've never realised. We can lack meaning and purpose in our lives. We can end up talking about all the things we wished we'd done but we hadn't. For example, I met a man on the weekend, in his mid fifties, who has always wanted to play the piano. He'd love to play the piano he said, he's had some lessons, showed some promise and he's clearly musical. But he can't be bothered to practise.

---

Other Resources on focus worldwide:

"Midlife And Happiness" contains the intimate, true life details of 14 men and women, the obstacles they've overcome, the dreams they've realised and the many ways they've found happiness in their lives. If you want a wonderful example of how having focus can produce happiness against all odds, read Elle's chapter "Sail Every Sunday". It is truly inspirational. She simply refused to give in, despite many health, relationship, family and financial challenges until she'd achieved her dreams.

Free newsletters:

These are on the RachelGreen.Com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish.

Number 51: Passion and Purpose
Number 37: Are you doing what's important?
Number85: The Art of Patience

---

Tips on being focused

Tip A: Identify what your dreams are

What is there you've always wanted to do but haven't? Is there a dream, a wish, a hope that you have but you've never bothered to work towards it? Identify what this is. If you haven't a dream start to identify what brings you the deepest contentment. Where does your passion lie?

Tip B: Be disciplined

Discipline is what most people who achieve great things have. Discipline is not a popular trait in our culture these days. I think the hippy sixties left us with an "instant success" view of life, let it all hang out, do your own thing man. I don't recall much about work really hard, be disciplined, be focused! Be disciplined. Discipline brings its own rewards. Happiness can come through focus and discipline.

Tip C: Plan

Plan your time and be prepared to say "no" to other requests on your time which interfere with your plan. This may mean you have to turn down other things which sound nice and enjoyable. It may mean you aren't always available to meet everyone else's whims and demands. It may even mean you feel guilty because you've turned someone else down. But you need focus! When I was writing the book I remember saying to a friend who wanted to catch up with me "I will once the book is finished". "When will that be?", she said. "Two years!" Plan, say no and focus. We can't do everything but we can do what's important.

---

Competition:

Want to be a winning contributor? It's easy, as long as you are a Rachel's Reflections subscriber. All you have to do this fortnight is be aged 40-65 and send to us your view on life - complete the profile section on the website and tell us about yourself. Share your turning points and your inspirations with us. I am really keen to see what your advice for life is. I want us all to have access to different people's lives and advice, not just mine. So share your experiences and you could help others.

If your profile is put on the website you'll be in the draw for a free copy of the wonderfully inspirational book by Tony Ryan, The Ripple Effect. Tony has kindly donated the book as further evidence that each person can contribute positive things that make the world a better place. It makes a great birthday gift. For more details go to: http://www.headfirst.com.au/ripples

There are two winners from the last competition, giving a mother's and a father's perspective on Talking With Children. Well done, Susanna Beech and Gordon Fernihough. If you want to see their tips they are at for Gordon's and for Susanna's.

Both receive a gift pack of the handmade, pure olive oil soaps from Glen Murray farm, in York, WA. If you want to order your own contact

---

Humour Section:

This week a great quote by Bette Reese which was sent to us by Rachel's Reflections Reader, Andrew Young. Thanks Andrew! It fits our topic perfectly.

"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room."

---

May you feel significant enough to make a difference and may you find focus.

Until the next fortnight,
Best wishes,
Rachel.