Welcome to this 153rd edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication providing you with practical, dynamic help to develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
In this edition:
- The good, the bad and the ugly of customer service.
- Latest news: Be a winner at dinner.
- Top tips on how to enjoy your customers.
- How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
- Your problems answered: "Why didn't I get the job?"
- Fortnightly Feelings: "I was baffled."
- Laugh your socks off.
1. The good, the bad and the ugly of customer service.
I have recently been renovating my house. If you have been involved in renovating or building a home you probably know it's a very stressful experience. And that's when things go right! My experience has left me a loyal and repeat customer with some businesses; and a disgruntled and ex-customer with others. If you conduct any type of service, business or commercial enterprise how you deal with your customers each time they contact you matters. Each contact can be used to build trust, satisfaction and loyalty, or to build dissatisfaction. So does this matter to you? Well, the important thing is that when your customers are happy you can enjoy them more. Satisfied customers are much less stressful to deal with. Enjoy your customers now. How can you do this? Read on to the tips section.
2. Latest news: Be a winner at dinner - new!
It's wonderful to be back with you. This is the first newsletter for the year. We had a bit of a difficult start to the year with Gen unexpectedly being away for seven weeks and me badly damaging my right thumb. However, we're back and my thumb is slowly getting better despite a cut nerve. The good news is I am thrilled to announce the arrival of our latest CD set, "Be a winner at dinner: How to chat and network with confidence". It's a 3 CD set plus a small 8 page booklet which includes everything from how to break into a group, the best topics to talk about and how to exit politely. It's RRP is $75.00 but as a special opening offer, only available to Rachel's Reflections readers, if you order and pay for it by the 9th March 2005, it can be yours for only $60.00 and we pay the postage.
Hurry and order now, as the offer closes on 9th March 2005. Click here to order.
3. Top tips on how to enjoy your customers.
Tip A. Care about them.
If you have got to the stage where you don't care any more if your customers aren't happy then it's time for you to either become more positive or to move on. Just because you've "heard it all before" or the customer has made a mistake doesn't mean that you should not care. By caring you'll find it easier to show sympathy, demonstrate understanding and give responses that make a difference to the customers - even if you can't fix their problems. I was talking to a woman in the public sector recently and she was on a help desk. She was having to answer queries that involved the application of legislation. Her attitude did not help her callers, who phoned in distraught. She told me there was, "no point in her having sympathy for the customer's dilemma, because the legislation said what the legislation said and that was the end of it". In other words: tough bickies! No happy customers' here. And she didn't enjoy her job either. That's bad.
Tip B. Be flexible.
The ugliest part of my recent customer service experience wa dealing with a tile shop. They were warm and enthusiastic when I was buying tiles from them. It was a completely different story when I wanted to return one of the sets because I had made a mistake in the size. Never having bought border tiles in my life, I hadn't understood that the border tiles in the bathroom needed to be of a certain height for the builder's sake. I took them back the next day and was told I could not exchange them for other tiles nor could I have any money back. The "assistants" turned into fire-breathing dragons. They showed no sympathy, caring or understanding. They talked only of policy, fine print and what was not possible. "Can't" was a common word in their conversation. What they really meant was "I won't let you". In the end their bureaucratic and heavy-handed dealing with me has left me avoiding their shop and telling others about this experience. Their excuse for not being able to take them back was that I may have prevented someone else from having them. It was hardly likely - I'd left at 5 p.m. and was back at 9.30 am on the next morning. Their manner of dealing with me was so harsh yet they could easily have won me over. I was hardly a repeat offender yet I was treated like a criminal. It was ugly.
Tip C. Follow-up.
I'm not a talented person when it comes to choosing colours, curtains or furnishings. It's never been an area I've paid attention to. Consequently one of my friends recommended a woman called Wendy to help me. She provided astonishingly excellent service. I'd been struggling with what paint to put on the main lounge, what colour curtains to get, you know, the usual. I knew the effect I wanted but not how to get it. She was helping me choose. I was getting a bit flustered and overwhelmed by it all as it was yet another round of decisions to be made and demands to be met all at a time when life already had much going on. I chose. Twenty-four hours later she phoned me and said, "I'm feeling uncomfortable that you may not have chosen the colour you really wanted and you just settled on the one that people thought you ought to have. Please can you check with the curtain shop and see if they've ordered the material and if not put a hold on it so you can just double check that's really what you want". How wonderful. As soon as she said it to me I knew she was right. Now the paint, the walls and the furnishings are perfect. And it's thanks to her patience, thoughtfulness and follow-up. I was wanting a really tranquil, restful, calming feel to the room and I've got it. This was such good service. I am now a loyal customer. She has already had my repeat business. (For those in Perth, she helps run a furniture store called Eclectic in Claremont.)
Tip D. Do what you say you'll do.
How often have some of the tradesmen said they'll be there and then they haven't turned up? Once is too often. Not even a phone call to say, "Sorry I can't make it today". The endless disappointment of going home finding nothing had been done was draining. I felt let down time and time again. Letting down your customers means they won't be as nice to you as you'd like them to be. Ugly!
Tip E. Manage your customers' emotions without becoming defensive.
After the job started taking longer and longer, and people not turning up, we became despondent that we wouldn't even have our life back by Christmas. So I decided to phone the supervisor. I was kind and gentle and simply said, "We are getting a bit despondent over the time it is taking and are worried it won't be finished by Christmas." He said in a disgruntled patronising voice, "You just have to trust your builder, Rachel". Why? I thought to myself, the timetable has already been blown out. Then when I expressed disappointment about him not turning up he said, "You can't expect to have me to yourself, you have to share me with others you know". Why, I thought? All he needed to say was, "Yes, I can understand that it's taking longer than you'd like, thanks so much for putting up with it all so well. I promise we'll be finished for Christmas". That would have turned a potentially ugly scene into an easy one. Keep your cool with customers - it will help them and you. If you'd like to know how to keep your cool and not get defensive, come along to our feature course of the fortnight, "How to keep your cool - even with angry people" on Tuesday, 22nd March 2005, $295.
You can have a special discount price as a Rachel's Reflections reader of $275 if you've booked and paid by Thursday, 9th March 2005. Book now!
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
Be a winner at dinner
This NEW! set of 3 CDs plus a small 8 page booklet will help you make interesting conversations, introduce yourself to people confidently, have lots of topics to talk about, avoid awkward silences, exit politely and network successfully. You'll even learn how to break into groups and how not to get stuck with the party bore! Order now! AU$75.00, with no extra for postage, world-wide!
SPECIAL OFFER only available to Rachel's Reflections readers: if you order and pay for "Be a winner at dinner" by 9th March 2005, it can be yours for only $60.00 and we pay the postage.
Hurry and order now, as the offer closes on 9th March 2005. Click here to order.
Other free newsletters:
There are other newsletters bursting with practical tips on the rachelgreen.com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish. Click here to read them.
Tips
Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Topics range from how to talk to teenagers or elderly parents to personality types, body language and developing your emotional intelligence. Click here to read them.
5. Your problems answered
Each fortnight I select one letter we have been sent requesting advice and reply to it. Write us a letter. Gain some free advice. Get your problems answered, now. (You will not be identified).
Dear Rachel,
I have recently been through a very tough time. I have been in a job for the past 9 months where I put my heart, soul and energy into getting things sorted out and to improve all the processes that needed changing. My manager, who at the time was not happy to let me help her out, became ill and resigned. Without any formal interview process the position was given to someone on the "inside" with only half of the necessary skills to do the job. I still haven't worked out what happened. Have I been sabotaged by the previous manager due to her own insecurities and her not wanting me to succeed where she had failed? Or did the Executive admin make a rash and wrong decision and just have to run with it?
I am not a person that wants to cause trouble so have moved on and in fact start a new job with good prospects tomorrow. However, it has left a very, very bitter taste in my mouth and I would like to know the real reasons behind the decision they made. Apart from asking why they made the decision they made, and feeling it was all a bit flakey, what else could I have done to revert the situation? Any suggestions?
Ignored.
Dear Ignored,
This is a difficult situation. People get appointed to positions for many different reasons. I cannot tell you what happened. Nor do I know what the best thing for you to have done is. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with the Executive Admin and this would influence what went on and how to deal with it. Maybe you could have said how disappointed you were not to have been considered for the job and if another similar job comes up please could they consider you? Maybe you could have discussed the situation with the new manager? Maybe you could have brought it up in your performance review? Maybe you could have simply been supportive of the new person. Maybe a group of you could have gone to the next person in the hierarchy or to HR to discuss it? It isn't possible to know from a distance. And that is the real issue, that you are asking a question to which you may not realistically be ever going to know the answer.
Some people search for answers to "Why" questions when they will never be able to find out. Sometimes people read into situations "this is a personal attack", when it was nothing of the kind. What matters most is this: that carrying the bitterness and grudge in your heart will only hurt you and not your previous manager, nor the Executive admin. Let the bitterness go so that you go to your new job with a fresh heart. Sometimes simply learning how to shrug our shoulders at some of the mysteries of life and the weird things that people do is the best response. This may be the case for you here.
What can you learn from it? Three things at least. Firstly, make sure you build up productive relationships with the people who matter. Secondly, don't go out of your way to make someone look incompetent. (I wonder if this hapened with your original manager, even if it was unintentional or sub-conscious?) Thirdly, be willing to gently promote yourself. Let people know about the good work you do without bragging. I meet staff who do not let people in Admin, or their managers or Executives know what great work they are doing. Somehow they seem to think that sitting in their offices doing good jobs is sufficient to get noticed. It often isn't. Letting people know about your successes, the good feedback you've received, the deadlines you've met, the systems you've put in place or the customers you've turned around can be important. It's not that you have to brag just to gently mention these things now and again as a point of factual information.
If you find it hard to dissolve the bitterness there is a meditation on our 2 CD set, "Happy not hassled" that I have personally found invaluable to dissolve hatred, bitterness and animosity towards hurtful people and situations. I recommend it to you. It is called "Loving kindness meditation". This meditation is particularly useful to help people overcome bitterness. It is $45 for the set of 2. To order the CDs just e-mail us: or order them through the website. The choice to carry the bitterness is always yours. No-one else makes you carry it. Gently put it down and be in control of your own response rather than being at the mercy of other people's actions. I wish you much happiness in your new job.
With kindness and encouragement,
Rachel.
6. Check your Fortnightly Feelings: "I felt baffled".
How many feeling words do you have in your vocabulary? You need the language of emotions to understand and think about emotions and to communicate clearly. Each fortnight I include a feeling word for you to try out over the next fortnight. If you have an example of when you've felt like this or something else – please send it to me. I'm collecting examples to go in a dictionary of feeling words I'm writing. If you get included you get a free copy of the dictionary.
Today's word is baffled.
This story has been sent in by one of our readers who is a computer programmer. He says "I was trying to make a computer program feature work. I have an almost identical feature working in another part of the program. Yet this new feature does not behave in anywhere near the same way. It does not behave as the new feature should. It should be identical and it isn't. I can't for the life of me fathom out why. I have spent 2 hours on it so far, for what should have been a 2 minute problem. I feel baffled and annoyed. I'd wasted a lot of time on it which shouldn't have been necessary.
The strength of the emotion: It's a mild-moderate emotion in this instance.
Associated emotions: Frustrated, puzzled, confused, stuck, thwarted, perplexed, confounded, bamboozled.
7. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Rachel's Reflections reader, Mike, from CALM, for this fortnight's funny.
Subject: Actual Help desk enquiries:
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
----
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
----
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try
it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find
it.
----
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah, thank you.
----
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you enjoy working with the people you meet on your job and think twice before renovating!
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
How I can help you, now.
If you would like to have a conference, event or function with an energetic and entertaining speech, to boost your communication, presentation skills, emotional intelligence or networking strategies, I can do this for you. E-mail me or Genevieve, my Personal Assistant, on or call +61 8 9390 1188, or fax +61 8 9390 1199.
You can also attend regular public seminars in Western Australia, to develop your communication, presentation skills, emotional intelligence or networking strategies. You are guaranteed to get top quality information in an easy-to learn fashion that you can apply immediately at work or home. To be automatically kept up-to-date on future courses please e-mail us at: . You receive the course information first on this list.
Job interview training is available face-to-face or over the phone. Get the promotion you deserve. I am so confident I can help you, and my record of success is so high, that I guarantee that if you apply the strategies I teach you in your interview, and you do not get the job, I will give you a second session completely free any time in the next 12 months. Make an appointment now, e-mail:
If you need to enhance your staff's or executive's communication, presentation, people management, networking or emotional intelligence skills, I can help you by providing in-house, tailor-made training or one-on-one coaching. Ask me now!
Wanting to learn in your own time?
There are four CDs and a book to help you:
- "Happy not hassled: Manage your emotions, meditate and find contentment": 2 CD set, only $45.
- "How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity": 2 CD set only $45.
- "Midlife and Happiness": A book to inspire anyone over 40. Only $34.95.
- "How to be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence": 3 CD set and 8 page booklet, only $75.
- "Becoming a skilled communicator": 3 CD set, only $60.
Order all 5 in one go and you will receive a bonus saving of 10%.
To order e-mail us now:
Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:
 | Confidence on Tap
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| Personalities Talking! How to understand yourself and others, and get on well.
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Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or people skills. Thank you.
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