CONFIDENCE 4 U

Happy to get older, by Rachel Green.

03-Aug-2005, Number 164

Welcome to this 164th edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication providing you with practical, dynamic help to develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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In this edition:

1. Happy to be getting older.
   
2. Latest news: Talk lots and keep your brain healthy!
3. Top tips on how to be happy about getting older.
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately: FREE copy of "Midlife and Happiness."
5. Fortnightly Feelings: "I was drained".
6. Laugh your socks off.
   

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1. Happy to get older.

My husband and I met a long-time friend recently whom we hadn't see for a few months. She came up enthusiastically to give us a hug and asked us how we were. "Good" said my husband, "but getting older. My beard is going white". She laughed and said, touching the hat on her head, "I haven't got any hair at the moment, it's all dropped out with my chemotherapy. I've been diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and the cancer is here, there and everywhere." We were stunned. She was younger than us and the mother of 3 children aged 10 - 12 years. Suddenly having a grey beard no longer mattered. Getting older no longer mattered. We felt lucky and blessed to be getting older. Do you enjoy getting older? Do you celebrate your age? If not, read on and learn how to become happy whatever your age (and condition!)

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2. Latest news: Keep your brain healthy and be sociable.

One of the scary parts of getting older is the possibility of getting dementia. But I've just come across some good news ... we can do things now to help reduce cognitive decline. An article on TodaysSeniorsNetwork.com says that research being conducted at the Mayo Clinic in the USA has found that "We can maintain a healthy brain and perhaps reduce our risk for Alzheimer's disease by living a healthful lifestyle, in particular staying socially involved, remaining mentally active, improving our diets and exercising ... Social activity, increased education, exercise, and fruit and vegetable juices may help us maintain our brains ... Subjects with decreased social activity from mid- to late-life had a statistically significant increase in risk of dementia." So there you have it, we can justify talking to friends all we want now! And if you do find getting older scary, then read the inspiring stories of 14 different people between the ages of 40-61 and find out how they got the most out of their lives, in "Midlife and Happiness." Click here to order now and get a free copy.

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3. Top tips on how to be happy with getting older.

Tip A. Know your options.

You've two choices in life. I think one is better than the other. One is to get old and find your body and mind aging. You may not like that. If you don't, contemplate the other option which is to die, and to die young. I have friends who never lived past the age of 40. How blessed I am to live longer than they have. I've reached and am now past 50. How wonderful that is.

Tip B. Think of those who haven't made it.

When you're complaining about getting older think about those you know who would have loved to reach your age. Maybe you know someone who died as a teenager, who died in their 20s, who died in their 30s. How would they have felt to have been celebrating their 40th or 60th birthday? Totally stoked. Over the moon. Thrilled to bits. So why not feel the same? Celebrate every year you are blessed with, others have not been as lucky as you.

Tip C. Have an inspiring mentor.

Look around - who are there in your life, or in your community, country or overseas who have done inspiring things with their lives and who are older than you. Be inspired by them. Let them show you just what is possible irrespective of their age. I can think of 2 people immediately. One is in her mid 60s. In her 40s she went through an agonising time coping with divorce, and two types of cancer. But did she let this beat her? No way. In her late 50s she ended up sailing around the world - never having sailed before she was 40. And now? She's bought a big bush block and is transforming it into an ecologically sustainable home and property - when, she says, most people her age are buying small units in the city. And what's more she's happy. She inspires me to face challenges in my life. Her story is told in "Midlife and Happiness". Read about her, let her inspire you too. Click here to order now and get a free copy. The other person is an 82 year old folk singer from the US whom I met when she was on the first leg of her Australian music tour. She had a large audience rocking in the aisles at midnight. How could I complain of being tired? What's more she hadn't started her musical career until she left the public sector around the age of 55. Life can begin at any age.

Tip D. Celebrate big time.

No, don't pretend you are not getting older. Don't try and cover it up, disguise it or hide it. Stand tall. Be proud. And tell the world. Celebrate every new year with enthusiasm. Be thankful you've made it to another year. I celebrated for 50 days with 50 friends for my 50th. What a fantastic time. My 60th birthday bash will be even better. If I'm lucky enough to make it. If you want to read all about my 40th and 50th birthdays, it's all in "Midlife and Happiness" Click here to order now and get a free copy.

Tip E. Do what's important.

Have you sat down recently and checked out what you are doing in your life and whether you are doing what really matters? Are you doing what's important? Or are you filling in your life being busy and being caught up in the day-to-day trivia and hassles? Life is short - make the most of it, whatever your age. Do what really matters. If you would like to be able to sort out decisions like this come along to our feature course of the fortnight, "Clarity: The EI way to thinking, deciding and communicating clearly", on Tuesday 23rd August 2005, it's a great way for you to sift through your life and sort it out! Click here to book in.

Tip F. Notice the good things you have.

It is so easy to sit and moan about your aches and pains isn't it? The main trouble with doing that is that you miss out on noticing all the good things you have going for you. So stop for a moment now and write down all the things that are good for you, right now. The bits of your body that are still working! The friends that you have. The books, movies or music you get pleasure from. The food you eat, the roof over your head, the flowers in your garden, the skills that you have, the holidays you've enjoyed, the pets that keep you company, the hugs, smiles or praise that come your way. Whatever your age or condition there are always good things happening. My friend with cancer said a remarkable thing. She said, "You know despite it all the last 2 months since I was diagnosed, have probably been the best in my life. I have never been more loved, I have all my meals cooked for me, I am given massages and reflexology whenever I want them, I'm learning to meditate, I have people coming to look after me, and others popping in to keep me company. I never knew I was so well loved until this happened". How can we complain about aging? May her struggles in life inspire you to grab each moment of your life and to live it with gratitude. She has certainly inspired mine. Thanks Val.

4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.

Midlife and Happiness

Want to enjoy getting older more? Then the book, "Midlife And Happiness" is essential reading for anyone aged 38 - 65 who wants to find more energy or balance, greater health and happiness, or a clearer sense of purpose or direction. The 14 people in the book will inspire you to get the best out of your life. Order now! Only $34.95, with no extra for postage, world-wide! I hope you'll read it.

BONUS OFFER - If you purchase "Midlife and Happiness" you'll get a free copy of the book to give to a friend. Hurry and order now, as this offer closes on 10th August 2005 .

Other free newsletters:

There are now over 160 newsletters bursting with practical tips on the rachelgreen.com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish. Click here to read them.

Tips

Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Topics range from how to talk to teenagers or elderly parents to personality types, body language, midlife and developing your emotional intelligence. Click here to read them.

Webpages

We have a whole webpage especially for the over 40s. Click here to read it now.

5. Check your Fortnightly Feelings: I felt drained.

How many feeling words do you have in your vocabulary? You need the language of emotions to understand and think about emotions and to communicate clearly.

Today's word is Drained.

"I woke at 6 one morning to a major storm. There was thunder, pouring rain and great flashes of light as the lightening struck. Then out went the lights. No electricity. I was due to see a medical specialist at 9.00 am on the other side of town so I got up and fumbled around in the dark trying to find torches, clothes and food. By the time I set off at 7.20 am it was still bucketing it down with rain and there were news reports that over 118 sets of traffic lights were out, there were trees down on the road, multi-car pile ups and power lines down. We were told to take care. I was relaxed yet very alert. My eyes were on stalks trying to see through the windscreen. The car was being buffeted by the winds. At times we crawled. At other times we dodged fallen trees. Then we negotiated multiple crossroads without traffic lights. Progress was very slow and time began to run out. It got to 9 am and I was not at my appointment despite leaving so early. I kept concentrating and finally got there 20 minutes late. It had been a fatiguing journey. What an ordeal. By the time I'd arrived I felt drained."

The strength of the emotion:
A depleting emotion that zaps energy. It can be quite strong and leave little energy for anything else, or it can dissipate after a good rest and a nice cup of tea!

Associated emotions:
Washed out, worn out, depleted, stuffed, tired, fatigued, exhausted, zapped.

6. Laugh your socks off.

What did the vampire doctor shout out in his waiting room?
'Necks please!'

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

May you enjoy your life, no matter what your age and celebrate each birthday big-time!
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.

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Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:

	How to be the perfect dinner party host.
	Team-work made easy.

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