CONFIDENCE 4 U

Teamwork made easier

14-Sep-2005, Number 167

Welcome to this 167th edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication providing you with practical, dynamic help to develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
To subscribe or unsubscribe click here.

In this edition:

1. Teamwork made easier.
   
2. Latest news: Mastering Emotional Intelligence a winner! Win a prize.
3. Top tips on how to work together in a team.
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
5. Fortnightly Feelings: "I was excited."
6. Laugh your socks off.
   

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1. Teamwork made easier.

"Teamwork" is such a buzz word these days. And yet we've all worked in teams probably from the day we first started work. However it's not whether we work in a team that matters, it's how we work together. Now there is no one way of working well in a team, as each team has its own unique set of situations to deal with, and its own blend of different personalities and tasks. Some teams don't work well together at all and their manner of dealing with things can be counterproductive. Others pull together well with high efficiency and low conflict. So what helps a team to work well together? Read on to the tips section to find out.

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2. Latest news: Mastering Emotional Intelligence a winner. Now you can win a prize too!

Welcome to all the Principals and Assistant Principals from Catholic Education who have become Rachel's Reflections readers. Great to have you with us. We've just spent 2 fabulous days together working on Mastering Emotional Intelligence. The richness of the examples and discussions we had was very stimulating. One of the discussions we had was to do with feelings such as "insulted" and "offended", and other emotions like that such as "stung" or "put-down". What interesting emotions, so much so, I thought it would be good to collect stories on them. So, if you've ever felt insulted, offended, stung, put-down or a similar emotion please send me your stories about what happened and why you felt the way you did. Describe, in as much detail as possible, what happened. And the best story for each emotion will be published in Rachel's Reflections and the emotional dictionary (with your private details NOT included). So if you send in a story for each emotion you've got at least 4 chances of winning. And each lucky winner will win a free copy of the book Midlife and Happiness too. Remember to include your full postal address for us to send the prize to! You've got until 21st September 2005 to get your answers in.

If you'd like me to come in and run the 2 day course on Emotional Intelligence with your organisation, I'd be delighted to. E-mail me on .

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3. Top tips on how to work together in a team (using MBTI).

Tip A. Teamwork starts with you.

Understanding your own personality, your own communication style, and your own strengths and weaknesses in a team, is the first step towards good teamwork. When you have a high level of awareness of yourself you can then start to understand how you are similar to and different from the other team members. And you've got vital information that will help you understand how you might impact on the rest of the team, positively and negatively. Learn about yourself first. (If you want to find out more about your personality and communication and how this can impact on your team come along to Understanding yourself, managing others on Tuesday, 4th October 2005, Click here to book in.)

Tip B. Teamwork requires understanding and tolerance.

Everyone on a team is different. So a fundamental step in working together is to develop acceptance of the other team members' differences, weaknesses and strengths. Tolerance is crucial. With tolerance you can help other team members work at their best. For instance, if you understand the different needs of the Extraverts and Introverts in your team you can, with tolerance, help both get their needs met. Specifically you could allow the Extraverts time to think aloud with the full understanding that they are working things through and may not yet have come to a decision. Don't just think they are wasting time. Of equal importance is to allow Introverts silence and space. It is not OK to interrupt an “I” because, “All they are doing is sitting in their office reading or writing”, this means they are BUSY. Teamwork requires the willingness of all team members to help provide the best working conditions possible for each team member to draw on their strengths. Be willing!

Tip C. Specifically encourage the different types on your team to contribute their strengths to decision making.

The different types on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) focus on different features in a situation. Make the most of this in decision making. For example, you might ask:

	an “N” (INtuitive) - “Are there any new ways we could tackle this?”
	an “S” (Sensate) - “What practical problems may arise with this?”
	an “F” (Feeling) - “What impact will this have on the people in the organisation?”
	a “T” (Thinking) - “Are there any principles, policies or guidelines being violated here?”
	a “P” (Perceiving) - “What other information do you think we need to consider or collect?”
	a “J” (Judging) - “What decisions do we need to make along the way?”

(If you're not sure of the types in your team then run an in-house workshop using the MBTI and discover your team profile. It could tell you a lot that you didn't know. I'm happy to conduct this for you - e-mail me at )

Tip D. Respond with understanding when people express their feelings.

Your responses to the disclosures of other team members can help people feel safe and validated or secretive and withdrawn. As an example, I was in a meeting of all men, bar myself, recently. One man who had been quiet for most of the meeting decided to speak out and express his thoughts and feelings. I'd been presenting the MBTI types and had shown the significant differences that exist between NTs, NFs, SJs and SPs. This man said, "So you're saying that we can be any of these MBTI types and we're all okay? I'm relieved to hear that. Another profile we've done seems to put me down for being who I am and expects me to fit a model of an ideal type". I admired him for his disclosure. I had felt uncomfortable about the use of the other profile too and thought that it implied certain types were better than others. However, before I could say anything his boss said, "I don't believe that is the case. I don't see the other one as negative at all". And immediately after that another manager joined in and said, "If the organisation says we need to be a certain way, then we have to do as we're told." And as this happened, the original man went completely quiet and withdrew physically and emotionally. And that was the last they heard from him. Why? Because it wasn't a safe environment to express feelings. And yet it could have been easy to support him. Just say to him, "So you're relieved to find the MBTI accepts you, and you didn't like the other profile because it seemed critical of you." Guess what? He'd have had the courage to say his feelings again.

Tip E. Give relevant rewards.

Different types have different needs regarding praise, incentives and penalties. Find out what is rewarding for your team and give relevant rewards for work done well together. For example, I've been working with a team of all Introverts and their Extraverted director who wants to reward his team by taking them for a night out together. He is critical of his team because they don't want to go and he thinks they "have a problem." In contrast, I think it's just that the reward isn't tailored to the needs of his Introverts. Maybe they'd just like a book token each, or a voucher for a meal out for two, or to be given a treat to take home to their children. Make sure the team is rewarded and in the way that is most motivating for it.

If you'd like to be able to understand the different personality types more, come along to our next seminar in Perth, WA: "Understanding Yourself, Managing Others on Tuesday 4th October 2005. Click here to book in. There are special discounts if you bring your live-in-partner.

4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.

Other free newsletters:

There are now over 165 newsletters bursting with practical tips on the rachelgreen.com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish. Click here to read them. Other topics related to the MBTI are on the website.

Tips

Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Topics range from how to talk to teenagers or elderly parents to personality types, body language, midlife and developing your emotional intelligence. Click here to read them.
NEW! Ten tips on teamwork using the MBTI, by Rachel Green.

5. Check your Fortnightly Feelings:"I felt excited".

How many feeling words do you have in your vocabulary? You need the language of emotions to understand and think about emotions and to communicate clearly.

Today's word is excited.
"There had been a long build-up to renovating our home. We had started planning for it 18 months earlier. We had gone through many steps on the way, meetings with architects, approval from the council, discussions with builders, visits to displays, searches on the internet, discussions with friends ... and all of it eating into our time and money. It was exhausting and challenging. Finally it was due to start. On Monday the builders would be arriving at 7 am. On Sunday evening I was so excited. I was laughing and carrying on. We had waited a long time for it to happen and now the dream was about to come true. How exciting is that!"

The strength of the emotion: Strong. Excitement has a lot of energy to it - it's buzzing! It's not quite as strong as ecstatic but it's stronger than pleased.

Associated emotions: Happy, thrilled-to-bits, over-the-moon, ecstatic, on top of the world, delighted, buzzing, energised, beside myself with excitement, stoked, pleased as punch.

6. Laugh your socks off.

Some of the artists from the 60's are re-releasing their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us – good news for those feeling a little older and missing those great old tunes...
Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker."
ABBA - "Denture Queen."
The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip."
The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone."
Ringo Starr - "I Get By With A Little Help From Depends."
Procol Harum - "A Whiter Shade Of Hair."
Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now."
Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping."
Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver."
Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face."
Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom."

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

May you get on well with everyone in your team so that you all pull together to leap the hurdles.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.

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How I can help you, now.

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3. "Midlife and Happiness": A book to inspire anyone over 40. Only $34.95.
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Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:

	Public speaking made easy.
	Manipulative mothers-in-law.
	Visting and caring for elderly parents.

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Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or team work skills. Thank you.