Welcome to this 172nd edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication providing you with practical, dynamic help to develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
To subscribe or unsubscribe click here.
In this edition:
- Visiting elderly parents.
- Latest news: 2006 series of courses.
- Top tips on visiting elderly parents or relatives.
- How you can learn more at home or work, immediately. Buy one book, get one free.
- Fortnightly Feelings: "I felt tender."
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Visiting elderly parents.
I've recently been visiting my 90 year-old mother, who lives, through her own choice, in an old people's home in England. I also visited some other elderly relatives and people while I was there. Visiting elderly people is not always easy and trying to produce a set of tips that apply to all elderly people is impossible, as every child-parent relationship is different, and no one parent is the same as another. I also realise that those of you visiting parents with dementia face a completely different task from the one I faced. However if you'd like some general tips to help you visit your parents and elderly relatives this Christmas, read on to the tips section.
2. Latest news: New round of Emotional Intelligence courses 2006 now available.
The next dates for the four Emotional Intelligence courses are already available - 3, 10, 17 & 22 March 2006. Click here for more details. Bookings already being taken. And one of them is new and will be on "Managing the emotions of yourself and others ..." It will be very useful for anyone who works with people!
And the new E-book, "Why do women cry and what to do when they do: A manual for men" will be launched on the website on Monday, 5th December 2005. Only $25.
3. Top tips on how to visit elderly parents and relatives.
Tip A. Give your elderly parents priority.
There is so much stimulation in the world and an endless array of possible activities that it's easy to be swept up into a whirlpool of life that leaves little time for visiting parents or elderly relatives. Be conscious of the need to allocate time to your parents and do it. This may mean that you have to say "no" to other activities.
Tip B. Find out what brings them joy.
I find it hard to guess what my mother likes to do or likes to receive. However, what I try to do is to monitor her reactions and learn from this. On my visit recently we hired a car to take her out. When we arrived she said she wasn't bothered about going out. As we discussed different places we could go to, such as nice parks and gardens, tourist venues and historic sites, all of which I thought she liked to visit, she seemed disinterested. Then I suddenly thought of the place she used to live and said, "How about we go to Tunbridge Village?" And her eyes sparkled. "Oh, I'd like to go there", she said, and off we went for a nice time together. I get a buzz out of simply doing the things that she likes. Do what brings joy.
Tip C. Reduce their anxieties.
I've learnt that toilets are important to many elderly people. Now you might get irritated by the need for toilets and think it's not important. But it can be. So instead of becoming irritated, reassure your elderly people. If you're going out, work out in advance all the suitable toilets and let them know you've done this and that you have toilets under control! It can help your parents or relatives enjoy the trip instead of worrying about whether they'll be caught short or not.
Tip D. Cover history.
Many elderly people like to talk about events in their pasts. Be willing to do this with them. It can include topics such as your own childhood. It may include amusing things that have happened so you have shared laughter. It may include talking about people you used to know, about how things were in the "good old days", about how different life used to be, about changes that have occurred, anything really! Talk about their interests, as well as your own. Cover history.
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
Midlife and Happiness
"Midlife And Happiness" contains accounts of the true lives of 14 different people, between the ages of 40 to 61. It is essential reading for anyone aged 38 - 65 who wants to find more energy or balance, greater health and happiness, or a clearer sense of purpose or direction. There are 7 chapters on my own life including one on relating to and managing my elderly parents. As well there are chapters on 7 men and 6 other women. Order now! Only $34.95, with no extra for postage, world-wide! I hope you'll read it.
BONUS OFFER - If you purchase "Midlife And Happiness" you'll get a second copy completely free to give to a friend this Christmas. Hurry and order now, as this offer closes on 30th November 2005.
Other free newsletters:
There are now over 170 newsletters bursting with practical tips on the rachelgreen.com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish. Click here to read them.
Tips
Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Topics range from how to talk to teenagers or elderly parents to personality types, body language, midlife and developing your emotional intelligence. Click here to read them.
NEW! If you want further tips on visiting elderly people then read the new tips Visiting elderly parents or relatives: 10 tips, by Rachel Green.
5. Check your Fortnightly Feelings: "I felt tender."
How many feeling words do you have in your vocabulary? You need the language of emotions to understand and think about emotions and to communicate clearly. Send us your stories of how you've been feeling and what the situation was that led you to feel that way. If your story gets published here you'll get a free copy of the E-book feeling dictionary once it gets published.
Today's word is Tender.
"I was sitting watching a kangaroo, we have them in our garden. They are beautiful animals, soft and furry. And they bound around, hopping here and hopping there! They are also quite friendly and so I can get up close and sit there in silence watching them eat the grass. I was looking at the long eyelashes that one of them had recently and noticing what large brown eyes it had. I was enjoying their company. I noticed how relaxed I was just sitting there and watching. And then I looked down and there right in front of me was a little baby kangaroo, a joey, poking its little head out of its mother's pouch. I oohed and ahhed, and was quite overcome with tenderness. I felt soft and tender. It was lovely.
The strength of the emotion:
It's a gentle soft emotion, full of warmth and caring.
Associated emotions:
Caring, kind, loving, compassionate, kind-hearted, warmth, gooey, motherly, touched, soft, gentle, affectionate, fond, benevolent, protective.
6. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Rachel's Reflections reader, Wendy Jacobsen in Indonesia, for this joke.
Farmer John
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING.
Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "Still no good. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."
So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new
sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. That didn't help either.
So Farmer John called and asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"
The sheriff told him, "Sure thing." The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put
up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then."
The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself "I'd better
go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers." So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign: "NUDIST COLONY" Go slow and watch out for the chicks.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you visit your elderly parents this Christmas, enjoy their company and bring joy into their lives.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
How I can help you, now.
If you would like to have a conference or event with an energetic and entertaining speech, e-mail or call +61 8 9390 1188.
You can also attend regular public seminars in Western Australia, to develop your communication, presentation skills, emotional intelligence or networking strategies. To be automatically kept up-to-date on future courses please e-mail us at:
Job interview training is available, make an appointment now: e-mail:
If you need to enhance your people's communication, presentation, people management or emotional intelligence skills, I can help you:
Wanting to learn in your own time?
There are four CDs and a book to help you:
- "Happy not hassled: Manage your emotions, meditate and find contentment": 2 CD set, only $45.
- "How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity": 2 CD set only $45.
- "Midlife and Happiness": A book to inspire anyone over 40. Only $34.95.
- "How to be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence": 3 CD set and booklet, only $75.
- "Becoming a skilled communicator": 3 CD set, only $60.
Order all 5 in one go and you will receive a bonus saving of 10%.
To order e-mail us now:
Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:
 | Don't kiss me on the lips please.
|
| House guests - how to make their stay enjoyable (just in time for Christmas!)
|
Subscribe now
If you know of anyone who might benefit from these newsletters, please send them a copy or encourage them to subscribe. Click here to subscribe - it's free! All NEW subscribers get a FREE BONUS E-report "7 easy ways to improve your relationships". Subscribe now.
Reflections is only sent to those who have requested it. Your privacy is protected and the mailing list is never shared with anyone.
Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.
|
Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or people skills. Thank you.
|
