Happy New Year! Welcome to this 175th edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication to help you develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills and gain greater clarity, contentment, calm and confidence.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
To subscribe or unsubscribe click here.
In this edition:
- House Guests: How to make their stay enjoyable.
- Latest news: How to look good without cosmetic surgery - Win a free E-book.
- Top tips on house guests and how to make their stay enjoyable.
- How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
- Fortnightly Feelings: "I felt wretched."
- Mastering Emotional Intelligence. What it is, why would I want some and how do I get some more?
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Making a house guest's stay enjoyable.
Having house guests, especially for prolonged periods of more than a weekend, can be difficult or uneasy for both the guests and the hosts. Yet many of us have people staying with us, especially over the holiday season, and others have overseas visitors who want to stay for long periods. Here are some tips which may help make it easier. The ideas will not apply to all situations and will reflect my own bias as a visitor – but read on to the tips section in case they help. And before I continue, apologies if I implied in the last newsletter that Hep C was spread by kissing, I've been told it's not.
2. Latest news: How to look good without cosmetic surgery.
The third Electronic book (E-Book) is underway. It is "How to look good without cosmetic surgery." Your input is welcome. Anyone who has a contribution included in it will get a free copy, valued at $25. Have you had cosmetic surgery? If so, tell me why, the results you got, what you went through, the cost, in fact - tell me all about it! If you have some secrets to looking good send those in. Tell me why you don't have cosmetic surgery. Tell me how you feel good without it. Send us your stories, comments and ideas now:
Why Electronic books? Australia has just recorded its hottest year ever on record. The UK is experiencing bizzare weather patterns impacting on its plants and animals. The bitter and dangerous impact of global warming is already here. We must do everything we can to stop it. E-books save trees. Trees give us life. Trees help prevent global warming.
E-books are environmentally friendly, there is no travel to the bookshop and fewer trees are lost to paper. And you can get the one you want immediately - no waiting while we pack and post it to you. And where there are checklists or tips you can print them off whenever you want - they are already on your computer. We all win.
To get the first two E-books, "What to do when women cry: A manual for men" and "The seven fatal mistakes people make when organising conference and seminar programmes and how to avoid them" just go to http://www.rachelgreen.com - it's easy.
3. Top tips on making a house guest's stay enjoyable.
Tip A. Sleep in the guest room yourself.
Before your guests arrive sleep in the guest room to check it out. Is the bed okay? Is the lighting okay? Do the curtains work? When you sleep in there you'll get a much better idea as to what needs to be done, more than you will by just looking at it.
Tip B. Provide plenty of wardrobe space.
Provide a wardrobe. And make sure you've emptied it of your clutter. And make sure there are plenty of coat hangers. Living out of suitcases can be a frustrating hassle at best – so make it easy for guests to hang up clothes and put them all away. I've been in guest rooms where the wardrobe has been so full of the owner's clothes and other belongings, that there was nowhere to put my own clothes so I had to live out of a suitcase. (Hint – if you have more than one wardrobe full of clutter – maybe having guests is a good time for you to off-load clothes to the charity shop!)
Tip C. State unspoken house rules.
Every family or couple have a set of un-stated rules which they live by. For the sake of your guests, and yourself, it can help if you state what these are so they are no longer unspoken. It can save a lot of awkwardness, guessing or a faux pas. For example, in our house we seldom have breakfast together. We eat our breakfast when it suits each of us, we don't eat the same food and I usually go outside to watch the sunrise and my husband usually sits at the table and listens to the radio news. We're both very happy with this. The unspoken rule is, "Please yourself at breakfast". I was recently staying in a home where these rules did not apply. However, I didn't know this until after I had upset my host and hostess. I was up before most of the house (there were 8 of us), and not wanting to cause any extra work for my host and hostess, I set about making my own breakfast. I had finished it by the time I saw them. I quietly said, "I've had breakfast, thanks, as I got up early" to which the hostess replied "I've been up a long time too but I've held off my breakfast". She sounded miffed but I wasn't sure why. Then at 9.00am I discovered an unspoken rule. All the family were supposed to sit around the dining table and have a cooked breakfast together. Had I been told the unspoken rule about the family togetherness at meals, I would have been happy to comply. Too late the damage was done. I'm sure I was labelled non-cooperative, difficult or stand-offish, even though my intention was to be helpful. State your unspoken house rules and save your guests embarrassment.
Tip D. Explain what they'll be expected to do.
If you want your guests to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher tell them. If you want them to contribute money for food negotiate this with them. If you want them to be responsible for their own bed linen and towels tell them. And do this early on – not after you've become irritated by their not doing the tasks you want. For example, before they visit one thing we now tell visitors who stay 3-4 weeks with us is that we expect them to go away somewhere in the middle of their stay. We suggest a coach trip down south to visit the wineries and forests or that they take a train trip east to see the goldfields and goldmines. This gives all of us a break from each other and keeps us fresh and enthusiastic.
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
Happy not hassled: Using meditation to manage your emotions and find contentment.
To help you stay relaxed while you have guests, this two CD set gives you many tips on how to relax your mind and body, stay calm, de-stress and unwind. Get these 2 CDs and feel good about yourself. AU$45.00 with no extra for postage, world-wide. Order now!
Bonus: If you order and pay for these CDs no later than 18th January 2006, then you will recieve a FREE copy of the new E-book, "What to do when women cry: A manual for men." It's worth $25 and it's NEW! So hurry as this offer closes 18th January 2006.
Other free newsletters:
There are now over 170 newsletters bursting with practical tips on the rachelgreen.com website for you to read or print off whenever you wish. Click here to read them.
Tips
Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Topics range from how to talk to teenagers or elderly parents to personality types, body language, midlife and developing your emotional intelligence. Click here to read them.
NEW! If you'd like extra tips on house guests there are more for you to read on the tips page. House guests: Twelve tips on making their stay enjoyable, by Rachel Green.
5. Check your Fortnightly Feelings: I felt wretched.
How many feeling words do you have in your vocabulary? You need the language of emotions to understand and think about emotions and to communicate clearly. Send us your feeling stories.
Today's word is wretched.
I have worked on a crisis line for 5 years. Christmas, contrary to the happy images portrayed in the media, is an unhappy time for many lonely people and families in crisis. Here is a typical story that I have heard.
"I was looking forward to Christmas. I'd always loved Christmas as a child and when my children were growing up I always made sure it was such a special time for them. We'd have the food, the trimmings, the presents, even when I didn't really have any money we made it special somehow. I sent out cards this year - I love to get cards and hang them up on my wall. I heard on the radio that about 10 million cards were posted by people in Western Australia alone; but when I counted mine I didn't have many really, not like the old days. And when Xmas day came, it wasn't anything like it was meant to be. My children didn't visit. I sat there with no-one but my dog. Aren't all families meant to get on at Christmas and be together? One of my daughters was overseas on holiday. My son hasn't spoken to me all year since he got married, and my older daughter went to her mother-in-laws. I felt so alone and unwanted. I felt a failure. I watched the Queen's message on the television and cried. I felt wretched."
The strength of the emotion: This is a depressing emotion. It is stronger than discouraged but not as strong as suicidal.
Associated emotions:
Crestfallen, dismal, bleak, dark, sombre, despondent, forlorn, gloomy, bereft, comfortless, desolate, lost, alone, abandoned.
6a. Featured Electronic book (E-book) of the fortnight ...
What to do when women cry: A manual for men.
If you have ever felt awkward, manipulated or mystified by a woman crying, discover the easy steps to managing crying easily. Know what to say, what to do and how to react, so you do the right thing.
One of the many tips from the E-book
If you come across a woman weeping on her own, e.g. in her bedroom, in the storeroom at work or down on the beach, she might just want you to leave her alone. Don't assume she needs you to stay - this might inhibit her and heighten her embarrassment and yours. Be willing to leave her alone. If in doubt about what to do, then ask. You might simply say, "I can see how upset you are, would you like me to stay with you or leave you in peace to have a good cry?"
Order now and receive it immediately.
7. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to Rachel's Reflections reader, Rose Russell, for this joke.
A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her:
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May your New Year bring you joy beyond your dreams.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
How I can help you gain greater clarity, contentment, calm or confidence now.
If you would like to have a conference or event with an energetic and entertaining speech, e-mail or call +61 8 9390 1188.
You can also attend regular public seminars in Western Australia, to develop your communication, presentation skills, emotional intelligence or networking strategies. To be automatically kept up-to-date on future courses please e-mail us at:
Job interview training is available, make an appointment now: e-mail:
If you need to enhance your people's communication, presentation, people management or emotional intelligence skills, I can help you:
Wanting to learn in your own time?
There are four CDs, a printed book and 2 Electronic books to help you:
- "Happy not hassled: Manage your emotions, meditate and find contentment": 2 CD set, only $45.
- "How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity": 2 CD set only $45.
- "Midlife and Happiness": A book to inspire anyone over 40. Only $34.95.
- "How to be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence": 3 CD set and booklet, only $75.
- "Becoming a skilled communicator": 3 CD set, only $60.
Order all 4 CDs in one go and you receive the printed book completely free - a saving of $34.95. To order e-mail us now: or order through our secure server on the website click here.
Also available:
- An Electronic book: "What to do when women cry: A manual for men." 71 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website click here.
- An Electronic book: "7 fatal mistakes people make when organising conferences or seminar programmes. And how to avoid them." 42 pages. Only $25.00. Orders only through the website click here.
Make sure you read the next Rachel's Reflections:
 | Riding the crest of change.
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| How to get rich quick.
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| Where to find happiness.
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Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or people skills. Thank you.
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