Welcome to this 183rd edition of Rachel's Reflections, the number one Internet publication to help you develop your emotional intelligence and communication skills and gain clarity, calm and confidence.
Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
To subscribe or unsubscribe please go to the website or click here. Please do not send us an e-mail asking to change your address - it is all automatically controlled by the website. Thanks!
In this edition:
- Why a phone company put the phone down on me.
- Latest news: All public course dates now available, June-December 2006, plus a new course on media training.
- Top tips on how to stand up for yourself.
- How you can learn more at home or work, immediately. Buy one CD set and get another one FREE.
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Why a phone company put the phone down on me.
Ever had nuisance calls? We get lots of them especially at work. People who think they know what is best for our business and who want to sell us something that they think will "grow my business". I am not interested and have better things to do with my time, and so I get rid of such callers quickly but without being rude. How do I do this? By applying some of the key principles of assertion skills. And the other day they worked so well that a phone company actually put the phone down on me! What did I say? And how can you also stand up for yourself? Read on to the tips section to find out.
2. Latest news: All public course dates now available June - December 2006.
All public course dates have now been announced all the way through from now until December 2006. And there is a new one. I have for years enjoyed training people in being interviewed by the media and I have decided to put on my media skills training course for the public. It is aimed at those of you who will appear on the radio or be interviewed by the press. And its primary focus will not be a description of the media and what it wants from you - that will all be in the new e-book which is coming out soon. Instead the workshop will be practical. You will be given the chance to practise staying in control while being interviewed. It will be on Friday 6th October for half-a-day ... bookings are already open. Get in quick because ONLY 12 people will be allowed in, click here to book now.
3. Top tips on how to stand up for yourself.
Tip A. Stick to what you are saying.
What happened when the phone company called? The caller was adamant that she could take over management of my telephone lines and save me money. I, on the other hand, was very happy with my existing telephone carrier and had no interest in listening to this woman's pleading! So I simply said "I'm happy with my existing carrier, thank you". The caller spluttered and told me how she could save me money and asked "Surely you want to save money?" My reply was word for word the same as before, "I'm happy with my existing carrier, thank you." The caller started getting exasperated and started asking me if her company had upset me in anyway. To which I replied, guess what? You've got it, "I'm happy with my existing carrier, thank you." Completely exasperated she put the phone down on me! I laughed. It works - simply stick to what you said in the first place. Don't become engaged in their manipulative comments, counter-arguments or persuasive tricks. Just say what you said and say it again until they've got it.
Tip B. Have prepared lines to say.
Some insults, comments or behaviours occur repeatedly. In these instances prepare what you will say. For example, you're probably like me and get calls or visits from people wanting money off you for charity. Whether they're selling pens, wanting support for sick children or needing money to keep the local surf-life saving club going, what will you say? Have a line you've prepared in advance. Mine is "I already support 7 charities, I'm sorry, I can't support any more." I have always been successful in the other person terminating the call with no further fuss! What lines have you prepared to say?
Tip C. Interrupt back.
Many people at meetings get interrupted by other people, and then back-down or go quiet because they think the other person doesn't like what they say. Consequently they don't get to make their opinions or ideas fully known. However, this is not the only reason people interrupt you. An alternative is that people may interrupt you, not to shut you up, but because they want to join in, or even better because they are enthusiastic about your ideas and want to have their say. So let them say a little and then interrupt back - in this way you can both be heard.
Tip D. Don't protect everyone's feelings.
Some people fail to stand up for themselves because they are concerned they might hurt the other people's feelings.
They protect other people even though they are in danger of being hurt themselves. Instead, have respect for other people while also having respect for yourself. Also, if you always put everyone else's feelings ahead of yours you are in danger of being walked over, used as a doormat or being taken for granted. Worst of all you could be in danger of being abused. So, if you've been invited to attend a function by a friend, for example, and you desperately need to go to bed and get some sleep, then take care of yourself and kindly turn down the event so you can look after yourself.
It is important that you don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Instead, learn how to use your emotional reactions as useful input into your decision making. If you want to know more about how to do this then come along to our feature course of the fortnight "Mastering Emotional Intelligence," on Wednesday 7th June 2006, click here to book in, now!
4. How you can learn more at home or work, immediately.
How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity.
There are ideas and strategies on these 2 CDs that will help you to not take things to heart so that you can stand up for yourself. So often we may react with a sense of disappointment or hurt to what people say and this can stop us from saying what we need to say. These CDs will help you to learn to stand tall, to let put-downs wash over you like water off a ducks' back, and to be able to leave people's negativity without getting irritated or angry back. I have personally used all the strategies on these CDs and found they have helped me. I used to get hurt easily and to find it hard to stand up for myself, and now I seldom get hurt, cranky or upset by people. (Sometimes I do, but nothing like I used to.)
Order now! AU$45.00, with no extra for postage, world-wide.
Special Bonus: If you are a subscriber to Rachel's Reflections and you order and pay for these CDs no later than 24th May 2006, then you will receive a FREE copy to give to a friend. It's worth $45. To be eligible for the free copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and when you fill in the order form add under the comments section, "A free RR copy thanks." Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes 24th May 2006.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to one of our Rachel's Reflections reader for this joke.
Corporate Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you respect yourself and gain the respect you deserve.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
How else you can gain greater clarity, contentment, calm or confidence.
To have Rachel speak at your function, to run an in-house seminar, or to provide 1-1 coaching, e-mail or call +61 8 9390 1188.
To be automatically kept up-to-date on future courses please e-mail us at:
Wanting to learn in your own time?
There are four CDs, a printed book and 3 Electronic books to help you. Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
Other free newsletters:
There are now over 180 newsletters bursting with practical tips. Click here to read them.
Tips
Benefit from other useful tips on the rachelgreen.com website. Click here to read them.
Subscribe now
If you know of anyone who might benefit from these newsletters, please send them a copy or encourage them to subscribe. Click here to subscribe - it's free!
All NEW subscribers get a FREE BONUS E-report "7 easy ways to improve your relationships". Subscribe now.
Reflections is only sent to those who have requested it. Your privacy is protected and the mailing list is never shared with anyone.
Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.
|
Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your communication, inter-personal or people skills. Thank you.
|
