Written and published by Rachel Green.
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In this edition:
- Why get upset with difficult people.
- Latest news: New E-book "Press Releases Made Easy" now available.
- Top tips on "How not to get upset with difficult people".
- How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity - CD set two for the price of one special offer.
- Laugh your socks off.
1. Why get upset with difficult people.
How often have you been irritated by other people? Do you ever get upset when people say negative comments to you? Do you want to fight back when people complain or get angry? If so, you may be doing yourself no good at all. When you get irritated notice what it does to your body. Does your breathing alter? Does your blood pressure rise? Do you feel an increase in tension? Does your sleep get disturbed? Yes! There are health consequences from getting irritated and upset. And it can also stop you from thinking clearly, result in your saying things you might later regret, or contribute to your escalating a conflict. So, why bother to get upset? It may seem like a normal human reaction but there are people who can stay calm and who are seldom affected by negative actions. So maybe saying, "It's just a human reaction" to justify getting upset and angry is a weak excuse for a bad habit? Instead, let's learn from the people who seem to let it all wash over them. If they can stay calm without being upset so can we. How can we do this? Read on to the tips section to find out.
Is it about time you got your idea, community group or business in front of the media? Sometimes people with really good stories fail to get them in the papers or on the radio or TV because they simply don't know how to write a good press release for the media. Now there is help at hand. Our latest E-book has just been published: "Press Releases Made Easy". It contains all the essential steps, tips and information on how to create, write and format effective press releases that will grab the media's attention.
It is packed with practical and easy-to-follow tips, examples of brilliant headings, samples of excellent press releases, guidelines on how to create the best story, 21 steps to format the press release correctly, and a copy of your very own press release template. This press release template will help you get it right every time. And, you will discover the one thing you must do to get your press release noticed by the media and the biggest mistake people make when writing a press release and how to avoid it.
You can buy "Press Releases Made Easy" right now, from our website. Click here to download it instantly to your computer. Boost your media profile: buy “Press Releases Made Easy” and and as a special offer you can receive individual input and feedback on one of your own press releases, at no charge.
New tips continue to be placed regularly on the website. Here are the latest tips for you:
- How to write a good press release: Ten tips by Rachel Green. Click here to read them.
3. Top tips on how not to get upset with difficult people.
Tip A: Be aware of yourself.
Forget the other person for just one moment and monitor yourself. What are you doing? What are you thinking? How are you standing? Has your breathing altered? Are you frowning? Are you starting to get upset? You do need to be aware of yourself to be able to manage your emotions well. So often people are not aware of what is happening and what they are doing. In this case they can be irritated and upset before they know it. Then negativity and difficult people can be much harder for you to handle well.
Tip B: Stop saying nasty things about the other person to yourself.
What are you thinking? Are you saying nasty things about the other person? Are you judging them negatively? Are you complaining to yourself about them? Are you in fact making the whole situation worse for yourself by saying negative thoughts about them? If you are thinking, "What a pain" or "You loud mouth" or "You're hopeless" or "You don't care about me" or "You selfish bitch" then you are not helping yourself or anyone else to stay calm and pleasant. You are simply adding fuel to your emotional fire.
Tip C: Focus on how the other person is feeling.
Instead of getting yourself wound up and upset focus on the other person. How are they feeling? Have they had a difficult day? Have they been left frustrated by the system? Are they disappointed and let down because they had high expectations that haven't been met? Are they anxious about doing something new? Are they feeling helpless? Do they feel under attack or vulnerable or singled out? If you can focus on how the other people are feeling you have more chance of feeling helpful and kind towards them rather than furious or irritated in response. It also helps you to distance yourself from what is happening. If you realise that they are feeling helpless you can accept that this isn't really about you, it is about them. When you know negativity is not personally directed at you and is because the other person is feeling bad in some way it is usually easier to stay calm yourself.
Tip D: Pause before you respond - count to three.
So many of us react to something that someone else has said so quickly that we can't even catch what we are feeling or thinking or doing. We just do it. Wham! Out comes a hurt remark back. Thump! Down goes a hand on the desk. Yell! Our voice becomes louder. All without our being in control. To help you stay in control of your responses insert a pause between what the other person has said and your response. Just breathing in and out, counting to three or saying "Thank you for telling me how you feel" may all help you to monitor your response and give you time to chose one that won't inflame the situation, so you don't get as upset as you might.
There is a lot to say on how not to get upset but I have just selected four of the many possible tips. There are more on our How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity CDs.
4. How you can learn more about not getting upset or bothered.
How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity
If you want to hear more about how to stay calm in negative situations I have recorded a CD called "How not to take things personally: Dealing positively with negativity”. It is a live speech I gave to a group of Catholic Education School staff. You hear some of them on the CD as well. The CDs are informative and entertaining and will give you more practical steps to cope with negativity.
All the methods on the CDs I use frequently to help me stay calm when things go wrong and people are negative. AU$45.00 with no extra for postage, world-wide. Order now!
Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Wednesday 2nd May 2007, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for FREE, worth $45. Give them to a friend and help them too. To be eligible for the free copy you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and on the order form where it says "How did you hear about this product?” click "newsletter." Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Wednesday 2nd May 2007. This offer is ONLY available to Rachel's Reflections Readers.
5. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to one of our Rachel's Reflections readers, Glennis O'Donovan, for this fortnight’s joke.
Indian Weather Forecasts Winter Weather
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new chief
if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a
modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at
the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was
indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect
firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the national weather
service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like
this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather
service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later he called the national weather service again. "Does it still
look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at the national weather service again replied, "it's going to be
a very cold winter."
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every
scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later the chief again called the national weather service. "Are
you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going
to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you stay quiet and calm in the face of negativity and feel better for it.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
If you'd like me to speak at your function on happiness, emotional intelligence, confidence, presentation skills, staying calm with negative people or a similar topic; or run an in-house seminar; or provide 1-1 coaching; e-mail or call +61 8 9390 1188.
Learn in your own time.
There are five CD sets, a printed book and 5 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "How to have abundant energy," and the new E-book on "Press Releases Made Easy." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your communication, health, presentation skills, inter-personal relationships or psychological well-being. Thank you.
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