CONFIDENCE 4 U

How not to be afraid of public speaking

15-Jan-2008, Number 212

Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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Building your self-confidence, communication skills and public speaking confidence.

Happy new year. I hope yours got off to a wonderful start. If it didn't may some of the happiness we've been lucky enough to receive rub off on you. As some of you know we've been renovating our home for four years now and have finally finished. On New Year's day we celebrated by holding a house warming with a difference. We had about 38 friends all meditating in the front lounge together. It was truly wonderful and the positive energy in the room was electric.

During January I've also been working on our next CD set on overcoming stage fright and gaining confidence in public speaking - and writing down lots of the tips. So I thought we'd begin the year by kicking the fear of public speaking out of the back door - so you can relax for the rest of the year if you have to give a presentation! Read on to the tips section to find out how not to be afraid of public speaking.

Welcome to our new readers from around the world, including this fortnight people from 12 different countries: Belgium, UK, Nigeria, USA, India, New Zealand, Indonesia, Australia, Canada, Singapore, Ghana, and South Africa. The winners this fortnight, of a free E-book from our range are vlonsdale in Australia, ido186 in Indonesia and narthexdreams in USA. Please contact us to claim your prize by 28th January 2008.

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How not to be afraid of public speaking: The tips.

Tip 1: FEEL comfortable with anxiety.

One of the major problems with stage fright is being frightened of the anxiety itself. Sam, an IT manager in her early forties, was like this. She was so anxious of anxiety that this was worse than the initial anxiety or public speaking itself. She had added fear on top of fear. It is a great way to set stage fright in concrete so it feels as though it will always be there. I therefore suggested to Sam that a big step for her was to stop fearing the anxiety and to learn to feel comfortable with it. One way I got her to do this was to start talking to herself about her anxiety symptoms as if she were a professor studying them. For example, when she was sweating, she could become curious about where all the water comes from. Does she keep a water well under her arm pit for the occasion or does it get taken from her bladder, and anyway how much will she sweat, will it be one litre or two? As I began talking like this Sam actually ended up laughing about her anxiety. Laughter is a great antidote for anxiety and fear. Learn to feel comfortable with anxiety and your anxiety will lessen.

Tip 2. REMEMBER and recall snap shots of confidence

Public speaking phobia can lessen when you concentrate on the good times. Whenever you are feeling good, happy or confident take a snap shot of it in your mind. Remember all the details of it. Remember how you look, stand and feel when you are relaxed and confident. Remember how you speak, breathe and talk when you are happy and confident. Remember the colours, the sounds, and the feelings. Then revisit the snap shots over and over again. Replay them in your mind so often that you can go to them quickly and automatically. Concentrate on these while you are preparing a speech, rehearsing a speech, when you are travelling to a speech and while you wait to speak. In one of my snap shots I am standing by a new pond we'd built watching a dragonfly land for the first time on it. I was in raptures to think that the dragonfly had found our pond already. It was so beautiful with long lacey wings and a blue body - and me? My smile reached right across my teeth, my eyes were bright and I was singing in my heart. I went to an after-dinner speech later that week and I imagined the dragonfly on the microphone. No stage fright had a chance because I was as happy as if I was still standing by the pond. If you remember and recall your snap shots of confidence as you stand at the lectern or microphone your stage fright won't stay either.

Tip 3. GIVE up holding your breath.

There is a myth that you should do "deep breathing” and “take three deep breaths” to calm you down before speaking. However, the biggest breathing problem for people with pubic speaking stage fright is not the taking in of insufficient air, but taking it in and then not breathing it out. They hold on to the air and this can lead to chest and throat tightness and voice strain. When the breath stops the brain gets a panic message that there is about to be an oxygen shortage and so the adrenalin alarm bells start ringing - very loudly. And that is when the heart pounds, the sweat pours and the butterflies take over your stomach. Sam was like this - she held her breath and went into full panic but all without knowing why. As a consequence she had avoided public speaking for most of her career and it was holding her back. What she learnt to do instead was to focus on breathing out and to concentrate on speaking on the outgoing breath. The change in her voice was immediately noticeable to the extent that she described herself as becoming “mellow.” As she practised doing this you could literally hear the change in her. She went on to successfully run a workshop with six other facilitators and all without stage fright - it was a big change for her. What happens to your breathing?

More self-confidence tips.

Each week more new tips are placed on our page of Personal Development tips and articles.

Recently, there have been a lot of new ones on confidence building, for you to read, e.g.

1. Seven low cost ways to increase your self-esteem.
   
2. How to look more confident.
   
3. How to re-build your self-confidence after a divorce.
   

A lot more new tips on overcoming stage fright and building public speaking confidence will be on the page soon.

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3. Learn more about how to manage stage fright and anxiety.

Confidence for women in public speaking: How to cure stage fright and develop more confident public speaking skills.

NEW! ONLY JUST RELEASED

Are you afraid to speak in public? Do you suffer from public speaking anxiety, panic or nervousness? Do you get stage fright with blushing, shaking, sweating, heart pounding, butterflies in your stomach or paralysis? Would you rather be a confident public speaker and presenter? Yes! Then discover how to develop more confident public speaking and presentation skills by:

1. Hearing a series of shy, introverted and anxious women individually being coached until their nerves melt and confidence takes over;
   
2. Using the great public speaking tips given by a group of other women who have public speaking confidence.
   
3. Hearing my own tips on how to maintain confidence in front of a crowd.
   

Let these breakthrough public speaking CDs stop your nerves and give you confidence, right now. This is unique material that's never been available before. They are FULL of practical tips that you can use for greater public speaking confidence.

For only AU$49 they could transform your life and overcome your public speaking stage fright.
And, where-ever you are in the world, this is all you pay - there is no extra for postage. Order now!

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4. Laugh your socks off.

Thanks to Kim Chamberlain in New Zealand, for this fortnight's joke.

Arthur's golf

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad that once I've hit the ball I cannot see where it went."

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try?"

"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!"

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

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May you be filled with abundant self-confidence and happiness throughout 2008.

With kindness,
Rachel.

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Further information for you

Learn in your own time.

There are seven CD sets, a printed book and 6 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "Confidence for women in social situations," and the new 3rd edition of the E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.

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Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.

Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, public speaking, conversations, communication, or emotions. Thank you.