Written and published by Rachel Green.
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We have a BIG announcement:
The first of our three CD sets on confidence for women: Confidence for women in social situations - has been produced and is for sale as of TODAY!
The first 25 people buying these CD sets will get a personally autographed copy.
I am so excited - these are the best CDs I have ever made and they feature 6 interviews with 6 inspiring women. What amazes me is that I can honestly say that listening to these women changed my life. I thought I was positive and confident until I met some of them, but when I heard what they had managed to do I was inspired to do even better.
You can buy them here.
Also, welcome to our new readers from around the world, including this fortnight from Singapore, New Zealand, USA, Hungary, Australia, Spain, South Africa and Malaysia.
The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book of his/her choice from our range, is brookesm7 in Australia. Sorry, we don't know your full name. If this is your e-mail address please contact us to claim your prize before the next newsletter.
1. Fake confidence until you make it.
Confidence is a skill that you can learn. Adopting the body language of confidence, until it becomes automatic and natural can be part of this.
If you look and appear confident to others they will treat you as if you are confident. You will also have more credibility if you appear confident when you speak. This can be beneficial in meetings, when public speaking or at home when telling your children off!
Let's consider 5 features of confident body language. Check to see if you are already using them. If not, adopting them may make a big difference to how you come across and help reduce a lack of confidence.
2. The body language of confidence
Tip 1: Have soft individual eye contact.
There are cultural differences in terms of what is expected with eye contact, so please bear this in mind when I say the following, in case it isn't quite right for your culture. Have soft direct eye contact with people you are speaking to, to give the impression of confidence. This is one of the most important aspects of looking confident when speaking in public. Look directly at individual members of your audience and connect through your eye contact with them. When you are listening to someone look at them, you will appear to be taking an interest. When you are speaking to someone in one-on-one interactions and in small groups look at the person, this will give the impression that you are confident in what you are saying. Have eye contact - it can be confidence building.
Tip 2: Take up space.
How much space we take up when we sit and stand can influence how others perceive us. For example, I have seen men and women droop their shoulders so that their chest narrows and the distance across their shoulders shortens. When this happens it looks as if they are low on confidence or shy. I have also seen men and women squash themselves into the corners of a desk at meetings, or cross their arms and legs tightly in job interviews, or hide behind a lectern or table when speaking in public. When you do this it is as if you are almost apologising for being there. Take up a comfortable amount of space. I don't mean push the person next to you out of the way, or hit them with your elbow, but claim your space. Let your whole body be seen when public speaking, make sure the chairperson can see you easily at a meeting, and allow the full breadth of your chest to be seen in a job interview. Claim your space - gain confidence.
Tip 3: Stand on both legs equally.
In my confidence courses I talk about the "hip drop" and how this can look too casual, too uncertain or too weak when used in front of people. By a "hip drop" I mean that instead of standing with your weight equally distributed across both hips and legs, one leg takes more of the weight than the other and your pelvis drops down at one side. If you stand with the weight mainly on one leg you may also look like a "push-over" and quite literally you may be. Standing equally on both legs but without tension may make you look more grounded, and it may be harder to push you over. Your physical stance conveys a lot. Support yourself - become confident.
Tip 4: Take up your height.
The old command to "stand up straight" did have something in it. However, standing up straight only looks confident if it is accomplished without too much tension. Being rigid is not the same as being confident. I have seen some people who are fixed in their chest in their efforts to stand tall. If you look "braced against the world" with stiff shoulders held back, and a straight broad chest that never yields, then you may look frightened, defensive or aggressive rather than confident. Confidence has flexibility, suppleness and adaptability with it as well. Claim your full height. Do you give your height away anywhere? If you are very tall, rather than dropping your height to meet people you may just stand a little further back, so your height is not intimidating. Stand tall, stand proud - be more confident.
Tip 5: Match your facial expression to the seriousness and emotion in your message.
If you are angry don't smile. If you are happy don't frown. If you are disciplining someone don't head nod for approval. If you are displeased don't smile. Why? Because to have the body language of confidence you need to consistently send the same message in your face as in your words. The words, "I am unwilling to tolerate this behaviour" said with a smile, is no-where near as powerful as when it is said with a neutral or even stern expression. Asking your boss for a pay rise with a look of disinterest is also not as convincing as asking with a look of conviction or even determination. Be congruent - be confident.
3. How to build your self-confidence and overcome a loss of confidence.
Confidence for women in social situations and throughout your life: How to build your self-confidence and overcome a loss of confidence.
Do you want to be more confident? You can!
Would you like to increase your confidence in new situations, when meeting people or across your life in general? You can!
Or, have you suffered a loss of confidence and want to regain it? You can!
Discover how to be more confident by listening to the inspiring and unique interviews on these 2 CDs, featuring six amazing women.
You'll get inside the real lives of these women as they tell you why and how they have problems with their confidence, and what has caused them to experience a loss of confidence.
You'll also hear the women tell their own secrets for building and maintaining their confidence, sometimes against all odds. These CDs are FULL of practical tips that you can use for greater confidence.
This is material that has never before been released.
Order this unique 2 CD set now and be confident. Only $49, with no extra for postage or packing, world-wide.
Bonus: The first 25 people who buy the "Confidence for women in social situations" CDs on the website no later than Sunday 11th November 2007, will receive a personally autographed copy.
To be eligible order through our On-line Book and CD store and click NEWSLETTER when it asks you where you heard about the CDs.
Order now!
4. Laugh your socks off.
Thanks to our Confidence 4 U reader Angelee Deodhar, in India, for this fortnight's joke.
Dating service.
A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating centre and
registered his qualifications.
He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favoured formal attire, and was small.
The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a
penguin.
If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to
May you be full of confidence and have your self-esteem soar.
Until next fortnight,
With kindness,
Rachel.
Further information for you
Learn in your own time.
There are six CD sets, a printed book and 6 Electronic books to help you, including the NEW! CD set on "A happy marriage," and the new 3rd edition of the E-book "How to be a brilliant master of ceremonies." Please order in our online book and CD store - we have a secure server: click here.
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Please note, material in this newsletter is copyrighted and remains the intellectual property of RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd.
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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation.
Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your confidence, communication, or emotions. Thank you.
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