CONFIDENCE 4 U

The key steps for successful networking and conversations

26-Feb-2008, Number 215

Written and published by Rachel Green.
Visit our website at http://www.rachelgreen.com
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1. Welcome.

Many of our new readers have said that chatting to people and networking, particularly to strangers, can be difficult for them. They run out of things to say, don't know how to start a conversation or get stuck with someone boring from whom they find it hard to exit. This fortnight, therefore, the newsletter is devoted to how to network and talk to people confidently and effectively, whether face-to-face, over the phone or via the internet. Read on to the tips section to find out more.

Welcome to all our new subscribers from around the world. The majority of our new subscribers have come from India, this fortnight, so an extra big "hi" to you all in India. I have an affection for India because my mum and dad met there!

The winner this fortnight, of a free E-book from our range, is karthu actu, (sorry we don't know your full name, this is from your e-mail address), in India. Please contact us to claim your free E-book by 10th March 2008:

If you know anyone who would like to receive CONFIDENCE 4 U, please encourage them to subscribe. Each new subscriber will go in the draw for a F.R.E.E. E-book of his or her choice.

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2. The tips: How to network and make conversations.

Tip 1: Have a broad concept of networking.

For some people the concept of "networking" is restricted to attending a formal work function such as a breakfast or lunch, or other activity that is labelled "a networking event". However, I think networking encompasses far more than this. Almost every time you meet or contact someone it can be called "networking". Why do I say this? Because every time you meet someone, whether it's at the bus stop, at a dinner party, or over the phone, you are also meeting that person's network. Everyone you meet has his or her own network. Every time you meet people, therefore, you are also making a connection with the people they know.

Every networking conversation is also about building connections with a person. This is exactly what happens in any conversation. Your task is to connect with people.

Tip 2. Networking comes in many forms.

Networking is not limited just to face-to-face encounters. I do the majority of my networking via e-mail these days. Networking also happens over the phone.

As an example, when I first started working officially under the "Emotional Intelligence" umbrella I wanted to get a strong network of emotional intelligence experts around me. There weren't many local ones so I took it upon myself to e-mail people around the world. I introduced myself, requested articles, offered to give input and asked for input from them. The responses I got varied. For example, I contacted eight consultants in my state and received two replies, and I went for lunch with one of them and shared resources with her. In contrast, I got more responses from the other side of the country and from the U.K. and USA. As a result of this, I have since attended workshops with some of the people I contacted and have formed solid working relationships with them.

Networking and meeting people is also about your taking the initiative, so be willing to step forward and initiate contact to see what happens; don't wait to be introduced. This applies face-to-face, over the phone and on the internet.

Tip 3. The essence is connection.

Whether you are talking to someone at a dinner party, at a work networking function, or in one of the internet networking sites such as E-Cademy, Facebook or LinkedIn, the contact is not about you and it's not about the other person. What it's about is making a connection between the two of you. Your task is to search out a way to connect with them. The obvious way to do this is to find out what you have in common. It doesn't matter what this is - just find something, anything. When people find something in common it is much easier to form a relationship and to build your business or social networking contacts.

This means you don't just talk about your work. It means you mustn't restrict yourself to one or two topics. It means you are willing to listen out for even tiny hints that you have a shared interest, a shared cultural background, a shared passion for a particular topic, and so on.

For example, I have just had a potential new client call as an initial contact wanting to find out if I could help her. As she was calling I thought her accent sounded familiar to me but I couldn't pick it. I asked her where she was from and she said she came from a place called Heywood in Lancashire, England. I responded, "My dad worked in the school at the big estate in Heywood". She was delighted that someone had heard of Heywood. The result of this was that we had a connection. That connection provided a stronger foundation from which we could do business together. Put your effort into finding out what you have in common in order to build your network and build your business.

That's it. That's the absolute core to successful networking - finding a connection with each person you meet.

Here are 7 summary steps to successful networking.

1. Take the initiative to contact people.
   
2. Search for what you have in common.
   
3. Don't only talk about work. Talk about a range of topics.
   
4. Consider e-mails, telephone calls, casual conversations and more formal events all as networking opportunities.
   
5. Be willing to talk about yourself - don't just ask questions of other people.
   
6. Don't think of "making small talk", think of making connections.
   
7. Form a relationship first, business is second.
   

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3. More self-confidence tips.

There are more F.R.E.E. tips on a wide variety of topics including networking and conversations on our page of Personal Development Tips and Articles.

Click on the links to read these tip sets:

1. 10 tips on being the perfect dinner-party hostess or host.
   

2. Ten tips on networking successfully even if you are shy.
   

3. Ten Tips on what NOT to do at networking functions.
   

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4. Learn more about how to be a great networker and conversationalist.

Be a winner at dinner: How to chat and network with confidence and skill.
If you've ever run out of things to say when you meet people, or got stuck with a boring person or missed out on meeting new people, then take hope! These 3 CDs and booklet give you the essential keys to overcoming all these problems. You'll learn how to make interesting conversations, talk easily to people, including strangers; and to exit politely. Never be lost for words again. I have personally used and developed all the strategies on these CDs, so I know they work. In addition, you get to hear what the ideas sound like in conversation, by listening to the eight people I took into the recording studio with me. I also answer their questions about conversation. Order now! Only $75.00, with no extra for postage, world-wide.

Bonus: If you buy these CDs on the website no later than Saturday 1st March 2008, then you will receive a second copy of the CDs for FREE, worth $75. To be eligible for this special offer you must order through our On-line Book and CD store and click NEWSLETTER when it asks you where you heard about the CDs. Don't miss out - hurry as this offer closes, Saturday 1st March 2008. This offer is ONLY available to CONFIDENCE 4 U Readers. Get your F.R.E.E. set now.

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5. Laugh your socks off.

Wedding Prank

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming. Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. Streakers or strippers didn't disrupt his reception, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.

When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed. Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and said, “I'd like to order breakfast for two.”

At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, “Make that five.”

If you have some clean jokes we can use, please send your contributions to

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May you form good relationships with the people you meet and make rewarding connections.


With kindness,
Rachel.

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Further information for you

Learn in your own time.

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Disclaimer: The information in this magazine is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate, no responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have with your emotions, confidence, job interviews, relationships, public speaking, conversations, managing people or communication. Thank you.