I was at a luncheon recently when one of the participants popped out to the local newsagent to get some urgent photocopying done. When she came back she was livid and told everyone never to go to that newsagent again. Why? Because he had appeared completely disinterested in providing her with the photocopying service he advertised. When she asked for her photocopying to be done he had scowled and said something along the lines of, "What! Photocopying! No! Not now I have customers to serve. How much have you got?" "37 pages! You've got to be joking." What did he have? A negative attitude? What did he receive - bad word of mouth marketing which he could have so easily avoided ...
The attitude you convey at home, when talking to your friends, family or neighbours, or when serving clients or customers can make or break your relationships. It can also build or destroy your business. It costs nothing to have a positive attitude.
"OK, so it sounds easier than it really is," I hear you saying. I agree, it isn't easy to always convey a positive attitude - however it can certainly be developed if you are willing to work at it.
Here are three possible ways which I've found help.
1. Meditation.
Since I've been practicing meditation regularly, I have found it much easier to stay positive around negativity. The value of meditation is that it's free, completely mobile, needn't take much time and you can do it almost anywhere. It can help to keep people calmer and more content.
There is even a specific meditation called, "Loving Kindness Meditation" which you can practice to help you look more favourably upon people. Go into an interaction with an idea of caring in some way for another person and you'll have far more chance of conveying a helpful attitude than if you've got grunge music playing in your head!
2. Say positive things to yourself.
I have a little saying to remind myself that "happiness is in the world I create in my head", not in the events happening outside. It is often what I say to myself about other people and what they say or don't do that causes the greatest influence on my mood. That's why two people can react to the same person or event in two different ways. Develop a positive line you can say to yourself. You can choose your attitude.
3. Smile.
I know you've heard it before but a smile can go a huge way. The newsagent scowled - just that look was sufficient to put the person off. Bring laughter deliberately into your life - read cartoons, read joke books, go to comedy festivals, be playful, watch funny movies. Laughter is a health booster and gives you far more chance of having a smile on your face when someone asks you something. However, be wary of wearing a forced grin. One of the teleservices staff I was training recently said, "I always smile, even if I'm jabbing my finger down the phone at a person at the same time." This isn't the same, this is behaviour without the right attitude! The smile has to be inside you as well as outside!
Now does this matter? It depends on what your goals are in life. If you don't want your business, service or organisation to prosper then maybe it doesn't. However, if you're spending money on advertising and then people walk into your business or call it and are met with an air of indifference then you are wasting your money. All the newsagent needed to do was smile and say, "Thanks for coming here, I'd like to serve you as soon as possible. As it would take some time, I'd like to serve these other customers first so I can give you my full attention."
If you don't care whether you have a satisfying relationship with your friends or partner, children or in-laws, then walking around with a black cloud of negativity hanging over you may not matter to you. However, if you wish people were nicer to you, if you'd like more appreciation or affection in your relationships then generating a positive mind-set when you are around these people can make all the difference to how you are also dealt with.
Just think what a better world we would live in if we all had a pleasant demeanour and a respectful positivity towards others. It would be rejuvenating to replace the bitterness, dislike and anger people have towards each other as we approach the new millennium - wouldn't it? You may not be able to stop a war with one positive attitude but you can certainly make a difference.
Final Tip
You may not know what impression you are giving to people. If you are in any form of customer service or unhappy relationship listening to your conversations on audio-tape and watching your interactions back on video, may show you negative things you are doing to put people off, without meaning to. Do you know what you sound and look like? If not - your clients and customers and family do - it may boost your business and life if you found out!
Most people hate watching themselves back on tape - so keep smiling while you do it!
Rachel
