Forty-three years old and my friend is dead. It took only 3 months from the initial diagnosis of her illness to her death. It could have been any one of us. She left behind a wonderful husband, three children, a mother and many friends. None of us know when we will die; all we know is that death is inevitable and that our time should therefore be well spent. Are you doing what is important?
It is so easy in our lives to get caught up in the daily frenzy of change, technology, administration and activity. It is so easy to neglect what is really important. Are you doing what is really important? Do you actually know what's important?
In our CDs, "Energy for Living", we have a look at how to use your life wisely and how to work out exactly what your priorities in life are. Once you know what your priorities are your next step is to do them. Once you are living your priorities then your energy is far more likely to be unleashed. We waste the gift of our lives and our energy when we spend time doing the trivial, or the unimportant, or when we distort the truth and make the unimportant seem important.
You might also like to answer the following questions.
1. If you knew you only had three months of your life left what would you do with your time?
The last time I asked a group of people this question their answers were nearly all the same, "I'd see more of my family." My question is, "Why aren't you doing that now irrespective of when you die?" If you don't ask yourself whether you are doing the important things you risk spending your life doing small activities which are time consuming and urgent. However, urgent and important are not the same thing. Also, other people's urgencies aren't automatically your priorities. Get used to asking yourself, "If I do this now what don't I have time for?"
2. If you had 3 more hours in a day how would you spend them?
Nearly every time I ask this question in my stress management courses people say relax and exercise. My question is, "Why aren't you doing that now?" Being relaxed and exercised may in fact help you prolong your life and bring you greater contentment now. Don't leave it until it's too late. Are you doing what's important? So often we become over committed - we say "yes" to things we don't need to agree to - we do so much that is trivial because of guilt or not wanting to appear rude that we waste our lives.
3. If you won Lotto tomorrow what changes would you make to your life?
When I ask this question to workshop participants in the over 40 age bracket many people say travel. My question is, "Why aren't you doing it now?" The answers vary from "no time" to "lack of money". Yet it is possible to travel cheaply, so why not do it now? Sometimes we just need to get better at saving our money and not spending it on irrelevant things and instead use it for what's important.
Take a moment to evaluate how you are spending your life - are you doing what's important? If not, when will you start doing it? How about now?
My friend was in Midlife when she died. Midlife is a key time when we need to take stock of and re-evaluate our lives. If we aren't doing what's important by the time we are in our 40's and 50's when will we do it? Midlife is also a wonderful opportunity to give ourselves a second chance and to choose how we want to spend our remaining years instead of simply trying to conform and meet society's stereotypes. By getting to know ourselves better, by identifying our strengths, by looking inward for the road to happiness we have a good chance in Midlife to work out what is important. Once we've done that - all we have to do is do it!
If you're still trying to work out what is important in Midlife or you sense you've lost direction a little, you might like to obtain a copy of the "Energy for Living" CDs and work through the exercises on them.
Alternatively you will find much on this topic, especially for those of you over 40, in the book, "Midlife and Happiness. Click here to get your copy now.
Final Tip
Each moment of your life is precious. Use it wisely. Each year of your life is a gift - celebrate it - don't grumble. My friend would have given anything to have turned 44 years old or reached 50 - so please don't complain when you reach those ages - it's a gift. Enjoy the gift of life that you have - don't waste it on minor grumbles, conflicts and petty squabbles - do what's important.
May you be well and happy.
Rachel
