Ten Tips on getting emotionally on top of midlife, by Cheryl Scalese Isenberg.
- Allow your relationship between you and your adult children to be one of interdependence. Don't anticipate problems because such expectations can be self fulfilling. Talk and listen to them like you would any other adult. Just let them become who they want to be not who you want them to be.
- If you have adolescents or younger children just remember as you are attempting to maintain your authority and control,they are striving for autonomy and freedom. This is part of normal development. Choose your fights very carefully. Listen more than you talk. Let them know how you FEEL and listen to what they want before you make decisions. Let them be part of the decision process.
- Allow your relationship with your parents to remain interdependent as long as possible. The longer your parents can remain independent the better off they are. Allow them to do their own thing unless to do so becomes dangerous to them. Their developmental task is ego integrity. They need to find satisfaction and self worth beyond the work activities that have been important for self definition in earlier periods.
- Work at rediscovering your spouse. Become involved in each others interests and at the same time be able for each to have his or her own interests as well. While you rediscover each other you may find more of yourself.
- Share your knowledge, care and skills with others. Contribute something to the world that can be inherited by younger generations.
- Find time for leasure activities, hobbies, sports, community and family. Find interests way before retirement.
- Reevaluate your career goals. Remember that you can stay within the company you have been working for and still grow. Set your own milestones.
- Find a creative outlet. Learn to play an instrument. Take an art class. Experience different forms of art to find the one most like you. Develop the left side of your brain.
- Learn to let go of stress. Meditate, deep breathing, visualization, yoga, exercise and relaxation are all good forms of stress reduction techniques. Stress can cause heart disease, hypertention, strokes and other diseases.
- Eat a healthy diet, exercise, drink water, stop smoking, don't drink alcohol immoderately, sleep at least 7 hours per day and loose weight if you weigh too much. See your doctor for regular checkups and take his advice of what a healthy diet and exercise program is. Also make sure that you are not restricted from drinking water due to a disease process.
These tips were kindly supplied by Rachel's Reflections Reader, Cheryl Scalese Isenberg.
Cheryl is a registered nurse case manager for a homecare agency and her hobbies include philosophy, psychology, metaphysics and alternative medicine. Thanks Cheryl.
Further information
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There are inspiring stories on coping with Midlife in the book: "Midlife and Happiness"
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May you find health and contentment whether you are 40, 50 or 65.
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Rachel Green
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